“If I didn’t exist, if I weren’t who I am, you would never…”
“Please don’t say that,” Riley says, covering my mouth with her hand.“Don’t even think it.This isn’t your burden to carry.The only person to blame is him.I can’t wish he’d never existed, because despite everything, he gave me one good thing in this life: he gave me you.”
“How can you talk like that?After what he did to you because of me… after everything you went through.”
“We both went through.”
“I deserved it.You didn’t.”
“What…?”
“I only had to pretend to be what he wanted.But I was stubborn.I just wanted to be myself.”
“Why are you bringing this up now?We’re fine, aren’t we?We survived.”
“You almost died!”
“But I didn’t, Jamie.I’m here.We’re both still standing, and he can’t touch us anymore.”
“It’s not over, Riley.”
“Jamie…”
“He keeps getting at me, Riley.I’m scared he’ll come for you and everyone I care about sooner or later.”
“Oh, love…”
“He’s everywhere, Riley.In my head, all the time.I can’t let him ruin any more lives.”
“If you talked to someone about it…”
“No one needs to know.You asked me all those years ago, remember?And I swore to you.Now you swear the same to me.”
“Jamie…”
“No one, Riley,” I beg her, squeezing her hands tighter.“Especially not him.”
Chapter44
Jamie
I’m finally back in one piece.Training’s kicked off again and there’s fire in my veins.The shadow of that stupid slip is gone.I feel strong, unbreakable, and ready for anything.I feel like the Captainagain.
Rugby’s my thing, always has been, and now everything is back on track.No more mad obsessions, nightmares, or fears.
I can spin a lot of bullshit in a minute, and if I keep forcing it down my own throat, I know I’ll end up swallowing every last word.
Training is back in full swing.My strength is creeping back, muscles knitting together, but there’s still work ahead.I tell myself that if I avoid him, if I starve this madness, it’ll fade along with the secrets I shove under my bed and the dragons I’ll never defeat, lying quiet in the dark.For now.
“Any plans tonight?”Ian asks me in the locker room.
“None.Why?”
“I need a hand with something.”
“Sure.What do you need?”
Ian sits on the bench.“I have an announcement to make to the family.”
