I must turn away, go back to my business, and forget this insane moment.I should be focusing on my sister and my brother-in-law, but I can’t.Or maybe I just don’t want to.
I hold his gaze for as long as possible; there’s no way I’m going to be the one to look away first.I’m Jamie Murray, and I won’t bow to anything or anyone.
Go ahead,Doctor.You have no effect on me.
But then the Doctor smiles at me.It’s a genuine smile, and I’m not even sure it’s meant for me.Maybe he’s smiling at the occasion, the bride and groom, the baby, or something else entirely.He lifts only one corner of his mouth — the left — and it feels like a superhuman force slams into my stomach.
I’m tempted to bend over and collapse onto the grass, but I can’t do that in front of everyone.I resist, just as I do when I’m on the field when my muscles are screaming in pain, but I have to hold my breath, afraid that breathing too deeply might break me in two.
Then the applause erupts, chaos following close behind.People stand up, blocking my view of the Doctor.
I should now be able to breathe again, away from that tempting smile and those magnetic eyes.Instead, I still can’t breathe; it’s worse — it’s like having both my lungs removed or being a goldfish out of its bowl.
And that is a problem.
A huge disaster.
A fucking mess.
I’ve just realised I like the Doctor, and I really shouldn’t.
I know what happens when I want something.
I know what happens when I finally get it.
Whether I likeit or not, I’m now part of the O’Connor clan, and as such, I’m entitled to a seat at their table.I don’t think there’s a worse seat than this one.I like the brothers, and I quite like Chris and Casey, too, but spending a whole day with them without a break is really unnerving.I can’t wait for the party to end so I can retreat to my hotel room.Luckily, my beautiful niece is also at the table, but she seems to have fallen asleep.Perhaps she is exhausted, too.The whole family is difficult to deal with, and since she can’t tell them to fuck off yet, she has chosen to take a nap instead.
The waiter weaves between the tables with a tray laden with drinks, but Ryan immediately stops him and has him leave the whole tray at our table.
“What are your intentions, O’Connor?”I ask as he hands me one.
“What kind of question is that?We’re celebrating the first O’Connor to finally get the fuck out of the way properly.”
“As if the wedding ring on his finger were enough,” Nick cuts in.“Besides, don’t forget we all live in the same neighbourhood now.”
“That’s another reason I need a drink.”
I finish my drink just as Ian and Riley make their official entrance, holding hands like Mr and Mrs O’Connor.
Spontaneous applause fills the hall as the guests welcome the newlyweds, who happily make their way to the table next to ours.
“Poor woman,” Ryan comments, taking the second glass.
“Look who’s talking!”Nick shoots back.
“None of the women in this family has this much luck, you know?”I say.“I really feel sorry for them.”
“All envy,” a voice behind me says.
“What are you doing here?Has your wife dumped you already?”Ryan turns to Ian.
“I came to see if anything disastrous was already happening, you know.”
Ian sits down next to me and takes a glass.
“Are you calm now?”I ask.
“Fuck you, Jamie.”
