For so many years, my sister promised me everything would be fine, that I would have the life I deserved, and that I would get everything I wanted.Throughout her life, she made sure that was exactly how things turned out.
If I am Jamie,the Captain, today, I owe it all to her.
If I have a life today, it’s only because of her.
She raised me, protected me, and loved me.She made me who I am today.Now, it’s finally her turn.
“This is what you deserve, Riley.”
I lean down and kiss her cheek.When I look at Ian, whose hands tremble violently at his sides, I see my sister’s expression mirrored on his face — joy and fear at the same time.They long for happiness, but the weight of their past, their suffering, and the fear that they are not worthy of a second chance burdens them.I hope they get everything they deserve, with interest.And if they don’t, I will bring the world down.
My sister deserves everything she didn’t have before, surrounded only by love, joy, and happiness.
I will accept nothing less.
“Come on,” I tell her, squeezing the hand resting on my forearm.“You don’t want to give Ian a heart attack, do you?”
Riley takes a deep breath and nods.We walk slowly towards Ian, the guests standing and watching us with ecstatic, dreamy expressions.When we reach the altar, Ian steps down and offers his hand to Riley.I take my sister’s hand and gently place it in Ian’s; the force of their love washes over me the moment their fingers intertwine, and I nearly burst into tears.
Riley looks at me.I kiss her forehead and say, “Just be happy, please.”
Then I walk up to Ian and hug him.I squeeze him tightly and whisper in his ear, “She is my whole life, O’Connor.”
Ian slowly pulls away.“I swear I will protect her at the cost of my own.”
I nod, and they take their places next to the best men.I step aside as the ceremony begins.The celebrant starts to speak, gesturing with his hands as he looks at the bride, the groom, and the guests, while I fight to swallow the tears choking my throat.
I turn my head to the right, and my gaze falls on the Doctor in the first row.My niece is blissfully asleep in his arms.He holds her like someone who’s used to rocking babies.He had a child, after all, and I suppose you never forget these things, even when they’re grown up.Besides, he’s a doctor — he’ll know how to deal with babies.
I sigh and turn back to the couple.Riley looks more serene now that she is next to Ian; he, meanwhile, is on the verge of tears.
God, these O’Connors!Big and muscular, yet crybabies.
Then Ian takes Riley’s hand and brings it to his lips.She smiles, and he looks ready to overflow with joy.
I wonder what it feels like to have someone who is your whole world.I wonder how it’s possible to find someone who can sense your heartbeats and breaths, someone you’d trust with everything.
Someone who gives you the strength to be your best self.
The celebrant talks about promises, respect, and family.Riley listens attentively while Ian looks at her.He can’t stop looking at his woman and smiles more than I’ve ever seen him do.More than is humanly possible or bearable.
Nick and Ryan are doing their best to maintain a semblance of seriousness.As far as I know, James has warned them not to ruin this moment with one of their screwups, or they’ll be stuck tidying up and repainting the garage as punishment.
People around us are murmuring, a few guys from the team are snickering, and someone is crying uncontrollably, but I’m not paying attention to any of it.I focus on Ian: his dreamy eyes, his smile and his trembling hands.Riley notices it, too.The moment she realises her soon-to-be husband is shaking with emotion, she gently takes his hands in hers and squeezes, giving him the strength and confidence he needs.She is telling him she is there for him and always will be, just as she has been for me so many times.
My sister is incredibly strong; we can all learn from her, and I hope to be even half as strong as she is one day.
Without realising it, I turn my head to the right again.Jamie is awake now, and the Doctor is holding her up.She faces him; he smiles at her and speaks softly, as if explaining what is happening.She seems to hang on his every word, enchanted by this almost stranger who is looking after her while her parents promise each other forever.
Something painful and irrational moves quickly through my chest.Too many emotions, all too real, all at once.
Ian and Riley are exchanging their vows, and the celebration continues, but I can no longer pay attention.My eyes remain fixed on him.
Dear God,what is it?My stomach twists into knots and a wave of nausea rolls through me.
Maybe I still haven’t recovered from Friday’s excesses.Or maybe I’m coming down with something — the flu, mono — because I feel like I’m going to throw up, and I can’t think of any other explanation.
Thenhisgaze lifts, slow and deliberate, and settles on me.
