“Thanks for last night.”
I don’t even attempt to swallow that one.
“Thanks for dinner. And breakfast.”
He nods, smiling. “Have a good day.”
“You, too.”
He walks off, disappearing into the next room with Caramel at his heels; unlike me, she’s doing everything she can to keep him here. I hear him gathering up his things, then opening the front door. Only when it slams shut behind him do I realise that I’m holding back tears; I don’t know whether they’re of anger or disappointment. Either way, I know that they’re unwelcome. I’ve felt like this before, and I made a promise to myself that I’d never feel like this again.
I’m quiet at lunch, in a terrible mood: two things that don’t go unnoticed by Iris.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on? Or are you going to make me guess?”
I push the chicken around my plate with a fork, then lift my gaze to her.
“What if I told you that I’m not actually sure what’s wrong?”
“I’d believe that – if it were true.”
“A few things have happened over the past few days that have confused me. I don’t know how to react.”
“Things at work?”
I shake my head.
“Man-related things?”
I sheepishly meet her gaze again.
“It’s just been an odd week.”
“Why?”
Because I keep finding myself bumping into Niall Kerry, and I’m starting to enjoy his company. I’m starting to seek him out. And I’m scared that he’ll disappear.
“I saw Steven,” I say instead.
“Do we really have to say his name?”
“He was out for dinner with his fiancée.”
Iris heaves a deep sigh. “Andhe’sthe reason you’re so upset?”
“I don’t think I’m upset, just…” I shake my head. “What is wrong with me?”
“Honey…” She reaches her hand across the table in search of mine.
“No, Iris. I’m not still in love with Steven,” I say, watching as she visibly relaxes. “But it still hurts.”
“Of course it hurts, my love. And there’s nothing wrong with you. He just wasn’t the right man for you.”
“What if the right man doesn’t exist? What if I’m alone forever?”
“Does that scare you?”
“I don’t know,” I say, honestly. “I used to want so many things.”
