“Uh-huh,” I say. I don’t want to blink, in case I miss a single second of her movements.
Suddenly she turns to face me, flashing one of her looks that pierces right into your soul, before stealing it away.
“You’ll be so far away,” she says, her voice trembling now. “And you’ll never look back. You won’t remember any of this,” she continues, stretching her arms out. “You won’t remember the guys…or me.”
Jesus, Casey. I could never forget you. Not even if twenty men threw me to the ground and cracked my skull against the tarmac.
“So I wanted to make your last night…special,” she says, grabbing the hem of her T-shirt, emblazoned with the team logo, and pulling it over her head. She drops it to the floor, along with the rest of her clothes, and stands there in front of me, naked apart from her underwear.
“Casey…” Her name slides over my body, before brushing my lips, as if it had come from somewhere deep and hidden; somewhere no one but her could ever reach.
She looks at me, her watery eyes a clear sign that she’s drunk a little too much. But they’re filled with light, seduction; they’re telling me that, in thirty seconds’ time, I’m going to find myself in a whole heap of shit.
She brings her hands behind her back, and her bra falls slowly to her feet.
Holy fuck.
She turns slowly and slips off her panties with one finger, giving me a view of her arse. I had only ever imagined that arse, which was always hidden by her tomboyish clothes – and my imagination could never have prepared me for its reality.
She takes her hair down from its ponytail, and it falls in waves down her back. She looks over her shoulder, calling me again: but this time, she doesn’t speak. She doesn’t need to do a fucking thing. That one looks is enough, before she dives into the water, splashing me. Droplets slide down my face, awakening my senses.
Casey swims out, away from the side, then turns to face me, waiting for my next move.
I always make the first move, with no hesitation; except with her. When I’m with Casey, she makes the rules, and I have no control over anything. Okay, my body I can control. But the biggest problem is my lack of control over something that should never have been brought to light – not when you’re a dickhead like me. And not when she’s nineteen years old, and is your nearly-ex-coach’s daughter, and has a future ahead of her that is as far-stretched as possible from my own.
I only realise that I’m taking my clothes off when she starts to bite her lip. It’s as if she’d been waiting for this moment: for me to dive in with her, breathlessly and hopelessly swimming out towards this enormous disaster.
I want you here tonight… I want you here… ‘Cause I can’t believe what I found.
Shoes, socks and jeans: gone. I head to the side of the pool.
She tilts her head and lifts one corner of her mouth.
My God, I’m about to be seriously fucked. And not in a good way.
My shirt’s gone. One more step, and I’m at the side of the pool: so close to the end. The end of me, of her, and of everything we have. I slide out of my boxers, toss them aside, and dive head-first into this huge mistake. A mistake that will take all the good out of my life.
I reach her in a few strokes. I never break eye contact, trying to read everything that’s going through her mind; words that are slowly, painfully breaking through my skin.
Just the two of us, at the end of the world.
Because Casey is the only world I could ever live in.
She ducks her head underwater and disappears behind my back. I turn, trying to follow her figure as it glides over to the side of the pool. She surfaces, facing me, and wipes the hair back from her face with two hands. She floats there, her beautiful eyes killing me gently.
I swim over to her slowly, stopping just close enough to reach out and touch her; to slide my hands all over her, taste what my mouth is crying out for, and my body is longing for.
I place my hands on the side of the pool, either side of her head, and I hold my breath as my lips brush lightly against hers.
And your mouth, your mouth, your mouth1…
For me, that first taste was already the end.
It was sweetness, desire, friendship, sex, alcohol… A lethal combination that shot straight to my stomach.
Jesus, this mouth.It’s hell, reaching up to heaven and taking over.
I push my body up against hers, her breasts squashed against my chest, her glistening skin merging with mine; my lips still pressed to hers. They’re delicate, wet; they taste sweet and exciting, tinged with chlorine, desire and madness that burns away all my reason. I take her face in my hands and look her right in the eyes: there’s no fear there, no hesitation or doubt.
