“I’m going back to bed,” he says, getting to his feet and standing in front of me. “You can have the sofa, if you want.”
He heads upstairs to join his family. I kick off my shoes and lie down, deciding to stay here because, for some strange reason, I can’t go back to my apartment tonight. The silence that lingers in the walls could suffocate me, or force me to think about things I left behind a long time ago. Things I can’t want now. It would make no sense.
It’s been eight years, we were young: we had dreams and aspirations that came true – at least, for me. Apart from the fact that she works in the hospital, and is Dad’s new physiotherapist, I don’t know anything about her.
Oh, right. The surgeon.
Well, it makes no difference to my life. I don’t care about him, or any other guys she could go out with, or has gone out with. Or the ones she’s slept with.
I don’t care, I repeat, as I feel my stomach being slowly consumed by flames, my breathing quickening faster than I can bear.
It’s nothing to do with me, I tell myself, as I close my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to touch her again. I let this alien tingling sensation course through my veins, spreading into places it shouldn’t; but I realise that a part of me – a part I believed I’d managed to get rid of – seems to be coming back to its rightful place.
And I’m terrified that, in the end, karma hasn’t got a fucking thing to do with it.
15
Casey
Isay goodbye to Mr O’Connor after our afternoon session, and head towards my car, which is parked in their driveway. I open the driver door, chuck my bag onto the passenger seat, shove my keys into the ignition and attempt to start the engine; but instead, the car emits a worrying grumble. I try again, at least three times, but it just doesn’t want to start.
I lean my head against the steering wheel dejectedly. I know I have to get rid of my car – driving around in a car this old isn’t great – but I always try to use things right up until they’re completely broken, pretty much beyond repair. I wait a few minutes, hoping that Mr and Mrs O’Connor don’t realise that I’m still in their driveway, before trying again. But by this point, the engine seems to be flooded, and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it tonight. Maybe it’s the battery. My dad warned me it would have to be replaced – especially after the last two times it left me stranded at the side of the road – but, obviously, I ignored him.
I don’t want to knock on the O’Connors’ door and disturb them again, so I scoop up my bag from the passenger seat, deciding to ring Dad to come and rescue me. As I’m digging around desperately in my bag, looking for my phone, I hear someone else park in the driveway. I lift my head and sneak a glance in the rear-view mirror at the huge four-by-four looming behind me. A pair of legs suddenly appears from the car, and starts to close off the few metres that separate us.
Of course. Ithadto be him. Who else would be so self-involved as to have a car like that?
He approaches the window and I lower it. “Car trouble?”
“The engine won’t start.”
“Do you mind if I take a look?”
A laugh escapes my mouth, but he doesn’t take it well.
“Look, I’m perfectly capable of helping other people,” he says, offended.
“Calm down, Nick. You don’t have to prove anything. I was just calling someone to come and pick me up.”
He looks at me for a few seconds, narrowing his eyes, before opening the car door.
Damn it. I should’ve got those locks installed.
“Come on. I’ll give you a lift home.”
“What? You? No way!” Okay, maybe that was a little too defensive. “I just mean you don’t have to.”
“Come on, out you get. I don’t bite.” The corners of his perfect mouth lift into a smile, and I start to think that maybe hewon’tbite me. But I wouldn’t be able to help myself if he did: and I’m certain that I couldn’t stop after just one bite.
Damn it, Nick.Why do you have to be so sexy?
“So?” he presses. I brush aside my fantasy and my pride and I get out of the car, which seemed like the only place I could hide.
I close the driver door and follow him over to his car.
“You can just leave it there. No one else is coming round today. I’ll let Mum know and you can just decide what to do with it tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
