“But Lauren had already left me. She never showed up to our wedding.”
“Oh, Ryan. I had no idea.”
“She gave me no explanation – she just decided not to come. So Nick tried to do something. But you know as well as I do that he’s a disaster,” he says, shaking his head and smiling. “She told him that she hadn’t loved me for a long time, and that she didn’t want to marry me. They drank too much and ended up back at her apartment. The next morning, they both woke up in the same bed, and…”
“Jesus, I can’t believe it.”
“He wanted to convince her to come back to me, to make her realise that she was making a huge mistake. But in the end, he just made it worse. I’m not saying he’s not guilty of anything, but I know he never wanted to hurt me. He never would, Casey. He suffered so much already that he could never inflict it on anyone else.”
“I believe that.”
“He tries to do the right thing, but he always ends up fucking it up.”
I smile, despite myself.
“But he has a good heart. He didn’t lie because he wanted to hurt you. He didn’t think he was doing any damage. He doesn’t think; he’s too impulsive, inconsiderate… God, sometimes, I want to put my fist through his face. But he’s my brother, and I love him.”
I can hear the emotion straining at Ryan’s voice.
“Did you know that Ian’s adopted?” He asks, out of nowhere.
My mouth hangs open in shock.
“Do you know who brought him home to us?”
I shake my head, but my mind has already worked it out.
“Ian was abandoned by his mother. He’d been living on the street for a few days, sleeping at our school’s rugby pitch. Nobody noticed him…”
“But Nick did,” I finish for him, feeling my heart swell with pride.
“He always notices these things. The only thing he can’t see is himself.”
I feel the first tear start to drip down my face.
“He knows how to recognise the truth, because he knows how it feels to live behind your lies. He realised that Ian was hiding, that he needed help… And he brought him home to us.”
“That’s so Nick,” I comment.
Ryan smiles. “Do you know what he said to us that night?”
I wait, wordlessly.
“Everyone deserves a family.”
My hand flies up to cover my mouth.
“And, Casey; he deserves his, too.”
Ryan gets up and steps closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I lift my gaze to his.
“Nick brought so much joy into our lives. He still does – even though he pisses me off like no one else. Now it’s time someone else brought joy to him. He deserves it, Casey. God only knows how much he deserves it.”
He bends down so that we’re eye-to-eye. I instinctively lean my head against his shoulder and he wraps his arms around me affectionately.
“Bring him home, Casey. Because you’re the only home Nick could ever go back to.”
72
