“Why do you have to make this such a big deal? Just because you’re not getting laid for one night.”
I can feel the flames of hell licking at my ankles. And this time, no one’s going to save me.
Casey doesn’t respond, but I can feel the disappointment screaming through her silence.
“I have to leave in two days, and I need to rest up and get ready for the flight.”
“What…?”
“I’ve been called out for another shoot.”
“And when were you planning on telling me?”
“I didn’t know I had to fill you in on every plan I make.”
“Of course not.”
“I’ll be gone for a few weeks,” I say, pulling up on the street outside her driveway.
“Is ‘a few weeks’ a nice way of saying another eight years?”
I knew she was too smart for me.
“What do you want, Casey? What were you expecting?”
“Nothing, Nick. I wasn’t expecting anything from you.”
It hurts so much. But I can take it.
“Good. Then we’re on the same page.”
I make the biggest mistake I could make: I turn and look at her.
Her eyes kill me. It’s a slow death: like being stabbed by something sharp, repeatedly, endlessly piercing my flesh. Every jab is right on target, hitting all my vital organs. And I can’t do anything but give in, hoping that I die as soon as possible – because I’m not strong or brave enough to bear the agony.
I look at her, and I realise that she isn’t looking at me. She’s seeing the wrong Nick. Because the Nick that she wants has never come back; maybe he got lost on one of his adventures, or maybe he simply never existed.
Do you see, Casey? Do you see what I see? Do you really seeme? Because I can’t find him.
“I thought—”
“I haven’t changed,” I interrupt her.
She nods, silent.
“I’m a nomad, you know that. I can never stay still, tie myself down. I never stay in the same place.”
“So the game is over, then.”
God, Casey. Why do I have to drag you down with me?
“The match is finished.”
“And you won.”
I lost. We’ve both lost.
She takes a deep breath, and with all the pride and strength she can muster, she breaks my heart, kicking it to the kerb.
