“I can think of a better way to burn it off.”
She gets to her feet. “Come on, O’Connor. My way is much less dangerous.”
“Are you scared of me?” I ask her, clambering to my feet as well.
“No, Nick. You’re the one putting yourself in danger with me.”
I watch her as she takes a few steps closer to me.
“You couldn’t handle it.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head. “I could give it a go.”
“You’re too old for some things, now. And your body…well…”
“What’s wrong with my body?”
Her eyes slide over me – and when they come back up to meet mine, they’re a different colour altogether. They’re misty, less clear. They’re obscured by something that I know she’s trying not to feel.
“Come on,” she says, walking to the water’s edge. She lets the waves lap at her feet, ignoring her already-wet jeans, and looks out to the horizon. I join her, stopping when I reach her side; she turns, flashing me one of those smiles that says:Nick O’Connor, you wanted to fuck me – but I got there first.
* * *
We’ve been walkingalong the beach for almost an hour now. Our wet jeans are plastered to our calves, salt clinging to our faces and to our hair. The smell of the sea washes over us, clouding us with an intimacy and a peace that I haven’t felt for a really long time – and I know that she feels the same.
The sun has disappeared now, the sky a deep, dark blue. It’s hard to make out where the sea ends and the sky begins; but there’s just enough light for me to trace the shape of her profile as she walks by my side.
“You’re staring at me,” she says, stopping in her tracks without looking at me.
“I’m enjoying the view.”
She turns to me, one eyebrow raised.
“I’m just being honest.”
“Too honest.”
“I’m actually holding back.”
“Oh, really? What else would you like to say?”
I move closer to her, watching her confidence waver. I take a strand of her hair between my fingers and watch it slip through them, as her chest starts to rise and fall quickly. I step even closer, brushing my lips lightly against her nose.
“Nick…” My name escapes her mouth, suffering. It feels like loss – physical and mental – and it’s the same thing that’s consuming me.
“Do you know what I’d really like?” I lower my voice, and her breathing grows heavy, intertwining with my own.
“What?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.
I don’t answer her; instead, I grab her waist and throw her over my shoulder.
“Nick! What the fuck?! Put me down, right now!” she flails around on top of me.
I step quickly into the water. As soon as it reaches my waist, I lift her up and chuck her into the icy sea.
Her head ducks under the water, but she bursts right back up to the surface, pushing her hair back from her face and trembling from the cold.
“Jesus, Nick!” Her teeth are chattering. “You’re such a dick!”
