Yes, Rain is happy and I can’t do anything but thank Liam for it.
Alex is certainly nothing less. She’s got what we’ve all gotten used to as her natural pallor and she’s always been thin. But she looks healthy and her desire to live is evident every time she looks at Jay and gets lost in him.
Watching her live here in our midst is a miracle and Jay knows it. He’s trying to enjoy every moment of this life they have together while not suffocating her with his fears and anxieties about her illness.
They hurry outside, leaving me alone to wait for the one who I will accompany to the event. I watch them get in the car and wave to them before taking a deep breath and turning to face the staircase where I think I’d like to leave my eyes and whatever else remains of me.
Jesus.
I am speechless. I’m breathless.
She is…perfection.
She comes down the stairs uncertainly, holding onto the banister and the moment she looks up and meets my eyes, she hesitates for a second and I’m afraid she might actually fall down. But then she gets a a grip on herself, raises her chin, and continues down, seemingly anchored to my eyes which are not capable of hiding what I see and what I feel at this moment.
She’s wearing the same gown as the other girls were wearing but it has a whole different effect on her. Her shoulders are bare, those wonderful shoulders that I’d like to kiss as long as there is air in my lungs.
The dress falls along her hips, hugging them and putting them on display, those same hips I squeezed and that made me tremble. Her hair is pulled up but one rebellious strand of hair will not stay put and falls softly onto her shoulder.
Her eyes are immense and nicely made up, yes, but there’s something there that not even the best make-up artist could create.
Her eyes are the window to her soul.
And she’s baring her soul to me.
I would like to hug her and take care of her for the rest of my life, I swear.
She steps closer and I hold my hand out to help her down. I have to hide a smirk as I can just about make out the remnants of paint stains on her fingers.
I kiss her cheek chastely, provoking a spasm in my chest because it’s in conflict with what I’d like to do: which is to throw myself on her lips and bite them until she begs me for mercy.
I would like to avoid this damned wedding, take her in my arms and bring her to my room and make love to her. All day and all night. Love her with my whole self, to give her everything I have in my power, and keep her with me forever because I do not believe that I could feel this way for any other person.
What I feel now… is love.
Fuck.
Love has blinded me and made me fall. It’s found me and although I tried to take a few punches it’s gotten the better of me.
I don’t know that I have the strength to fight it, if I’ll be able to avoid falling too far to save both of us from this disaster.
Because she is looking at me and I know that she can read me like a book.
I know that she has understood.
She’s understood that I am hopelessly crazy about her.
