2
CIARA
I help him get back in the room, bracing him up under the arm and it’s hard for me to stay balanced. Aaron is a tall hearty guy, more robust than my brother and all the others, but right now it seems like he’s lost all of his strength and self-confidence.
So I help him sit down on the bed while he still has that lost look on his face, lost in something that is bigger than I am and surely bigger than he is.
I help him take off his shoes and stretch out his legs on the bed. I kneel down next to him and smile, because I know he needs to be reassured right now. I watch him close his eyes and relax a bit so I stand up, with the intention of leaving him in peace and going back downstairs, but before I’m able to do so, he grabs my arm.
“Please,” he says in a thin voice. “I don’t want to be alone.”
His words leave me feeling disoriented but I try to hide my confusion because seeming undecided as to what to do would certainly not be helpful right now.
I sit on the bed next to him and caress his beard-covered cheeks. They haven’t seen a razor in at least two months.
He looks at me so intensely that I feel my heart beating in my throat. His glance penetrates my mind and latches on, so much so that I’m not able to look away from them because they are imploring me to stay, locked in concert with his. His hand is over mine, preventing it from moving. And I hold my breath, fearful that the slightest thing could break this spell. He pulls me to him and I almost faint, thinking he’s about to put his lips next to mine, but then with his other hand, he brushes me behind my nape and pulls my forehead down towards his mouth. He gives me a near fraternal kiss in my hair before letting me rest my head on his chest and I curl my body up to him. I put my arm around his waist and lightly rub his side, under his shirt, feeling his skin shiver under my fingers. He continues to breathe in the scent of my hair and every hot breath he exhales melts every thought in my brain, setting it in overdrive, no longer able to send sensory information to the nerves in my body.
Because we’re talking about Aaron, the boy that I have spied on and dreamt about in silence for my entire life. The man all of my fantasies have been based on since I turned thirteen years old.
Aaron, my brother’s best friend, who one day was forced to swear to Patrick in the garden behind our house, ‘I’ll never mess with one of your sisters’.
—
AARON
Another ‘girls’ night out’ before the wedding is in full swing at the pub. I seriously don’t understand how many fucking times they need to celebrate this damned marriage. People get married every day, what’s the big deal? And then, they’re always together as if they’re never going to see each other again, but they’ve forgotten that we all live in the same overcrowded house together and that we all work at this pub. There is no way to get separation or lose sight of one another, even if we wanted to. We are all tied to this place, like it or not.
Erin is having a drink, although it’s not her usual habit. She’s taking advantage of the fact that her mother is here these days, taking care of Lily. Rain is satisfied with her usual Diet Coke as she doesn’t drink. It confuses her and makes her more awkward. Alex doesn’t dare even sniff a glass of beer. In a nutshell, Erin is the only one really drinking and then again, she’s the only one who has the right to. She’s got to marry Patrick. Come on, are you serious? What the hell is she thinking?
It’s true that Patrick has completely changed since he’s been with her. To be honest, he started changing the minute Erin began smiling at him a bit too much. Erin’s eyes are deep and sincere, she’s smart and sunny, just what the doctor ordered for awomanizing-liar-hardened-constantly angry-with-the-worldguy like Patrick. I have no problem believing that he fell in love with her.
And with Lily.
Lily has changed his life. He doesn’t seem like the same old asshole who slept with a different woman every other day.
That girl trusted him and he looked inside himself, going past all that he was working so hard to show everyone and was able to clean his soul, making him a different man, a man who was able to love his woman above all else.
Who would believe it.
Maybe it’s the only thing that there is no explanation for.
I clean the glasses and put them away on the shelf behind me as Patrick joins me at the bar, smiling as usual.
I almost preferred him the way he was before.
“Hey, buddy, is everything alright?”
My thoughts rush back to two nights ago when I had a breakdown inherarms and I was able to start breathing normally again only thanks to her scent.
“Is this going to go on for a long time?” I ask, cutting to the quick these thoughts that have been torturing me all night.
“What are you talking about?”
“The girls.”
He looks over at them for a minute and then goes back to staring at me.
“What’s your problem? You wanna turn the table over?” he says, making fun of me. He has no idea of the burden that I’d like to rain down on him.
