“Shhh…everything’s okay.”
“No, it’s not true,” he replies, taking my face again in his hands. His eyes are veiled and worried, but splendid and sincere as always.
“I shouldn’t have fallen apart like that, in front of you. What I felt when I was inside of you, Alex, when I felt so close to you, you were so mine…it was too intense and it just pushed me over the edge. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
“Please stop it. We can’t pretend like nothing’s going on.”
He nods in resignation.
“We have to be prepared.”
“Alex, you know that I’m not able to do that, right? I will never be prepared for something like that to happen. Not just because I lost my mother, because I’m still reeling from it…it’s because I’m not able to lose you. Please, tell me you’re not planning on dying.”
“Jason—”
“I need to hear you say that you’re not going to leave me here alone. Tell me that you’ll stay, forever, because I cannot live without you. I’m selfish and weak because I’m here begging you not to die and I’m doing it for myself because I can’t imagine not seeing you every day, and I’m embarrassed by it, believe me. But I can’t help it. If you leave, Alex, I’m going with you.”
Jason isn’t breaking my heart. He is opening my heart and is extracting it directly from my chest.
