26
JASON
The sight of her body laid out in my arms makes me lose control.
I kiss her face, neck and shoulders. With every kiss, I inhale her sweet scent that leaves me feeling inebriated.
It’s something I’ll never forget.
I kiss her as if it were the only way for both of us to breathe. As if it were the only way to not let her slide away from me.
I kiss her every time our lips meet and they taste each other, and, as well, I feel the fear growing within me that every kiss could be the very last one.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to control myself, pushed by desire to have her for myself, tonight and forever.
I’ve dreamed about it so many times that it doesn’t seem real. I’m afraid I’ll wake up and it’ll be just that: another dream, an illusion.
I touch her chest with my face and she breaks out in nervous laughter.
“Your beard!” she says.
I smile and continue kissing her with more passion this time because I’m not able to hold back the urgency I feel to have her and to be inside of her.
I caress her breasts, shaking like an idiot, running my fingers over her nipples that peak under my touch. I feel the heat exploding in me, excitement growing and with it the need to taste every part of her and it is getting the better of me.
So I draw my mouth down to her chest and gently bite her nipples a few times and rub them with my tongue and I feel them go erect under my touch. I grab them with my hands, pulling them to me, and I breath her in before tasting one and then the other, sucking and playing with her with my tongue and in the moment I take one between my teeth, Alex calls my name, arching her back, offering herself completely to me.
Her gesture is more than I can bear and so I lay on top of her pushing her down onto the bed.
She sighs my name repeatedly and every time I hear it, it’s enough to make me forget my own name.
I leave a trail of bites down her skin until arriving at her belt, which I open with my teeth and touch her stomach lightly with my lips and she quivers so hard I can feel it all over my body. I unbutton her jeans. She raises her hips to help me and I throw them to the floor.
I kneel on the bed and take a moment to watch her naked body lying on my bed and it’s an image I’ll have with me for the rest of my life.
“God, Alex…” I let it out, running my hands through my hair. “You can’t imagine what I’m feeling right now. Having you here, in my bed, in my arms…in my life…” I pause to regain control of my voice, hoping to avoid that shaking that people have right before they star crying, because I certainly cannot cry in front of naked Alex. But I am nervous, and excited and all shook up, as if I have never been with any woman until now.
And maybe that’s really how it is. I’ve had sex with other girls but I have never ever made love with a woman. A woman that I love. It’s like my first time.
“Show me,” she says in a whisper. “Show me what you’re feeling for me.”
And that’s what it takes to lose any shred of self control.
I stand up, take off my jeans and boxer shorts, and stand nude before her and she immediately blushes when she sees my erection. Then I come closer. I remove her underwear, taking in as much air as I can and then lay down on top of her.
“Are you…okay?” I can’t help but ask.
“Never been better.” She smiles. “Nothing bad is going to happen, Jason. I promise you.”
What an asshole I am. I need to be reassured by her when it should be the opposite.
I nod, incapable of talking because my throat is completely blocked off by tears and emotion.
I caress her face and begin kissing her again, leaving aside any misgivings and fear because right now all she needs is my confidence, my sense of calm and all of my love.
It’s her first time and I want it to be perfect.
I let my hand slide down her body, I caress her side before going between her legs. At the first touch she shudders and I stop to let herself calm down and to understand if this is really what she wants. When I see her chest slow down, I begin again, touching her most intimate parts with my fingers.
