“I suppose it is.”
“I am not saying that you shouldn’t be together, Alex. Jay has always been here for all of us, even though he’s the smallest one in the house…” He smiles with half his mouth. “We worry about him. I worry about him.”
“You’re a good friend.”
He makes a gesture with his hand to brush it off and then looks at me seriously.
“I will be here—” he tells me, and I shake my head just a bit because I don’t understand, “—for him. I’ll be here, Alex, if something should happen, I want you to know that he won’t ever be alone. I’ll take care of Jason, I promise you.”
I thank him with my eyes because I wouldn’t be able to do it with words without bursting into tears. I stand up and walk up to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and walk away in silence, leaving him alone.
I’m happy Jason has his friends, even if I’m not sure that their kindness, their nearness and affection could ever be enough. I’m afraid that nothing could ever be enough.
I go back to the room, saddened by this strange conversation that has left a bitterness in my mouth. I’m not at all resentful with Patrick about what he said, but for a minute, distracted by this bubble of happiness in which I’ve been reborn, I forgot that Jason could be alone in a few days.
I open the door and find him just in a pair of boxers.
Why the heck do guys have to always sleep half naked?
“Hey, I was just getting worried. I woke up and you weren’t there…”
I give him a gentle kiss on the mouth to make him be quiet.
“Oh…good morning.” He smiles, squeezing me in his arms.
I burrow down in his embrace, rest my head on his bare chest and I smile too at hearing his heart accelerate.
“Everything okay?” he asks, kissing my hair.
I nod and move a bit so I can see his eyes and even if they are still laden with sleep, they are clear and sparkling.
God, how I love this man.
“I have to go to work this morning, but first I have to pass by home and take a shower and get changed. After that, I promised my dad I’d have breakfast with him at the cafe.”
“Sure, no problem. I’ll get dressed and take you.”
“Thanks.”
He kisses me on the forehead before whispering in my ear:
“Tonight, however…you’re mine.”
I feel the heat flushing my face and neck and I bite my lip in agitation.
“Oh, hey, I didn’t mean…”
“Don’t justify yourself, Jason, I understood what you meant. You don’t have to worry about everything you say to me, okay? I want you to always be honest with me.”
He takes a deep breath before brushing my face with his hands.
“I want you more than anything else, Alex. I cannot resist touching you and now that I finally know what flavor your lips have, I feel like I can’t peel myself away. I’d like to kiss you until we both can’t see straight and I want you in my bed always and to never let you go anywhere.”
I sit there like a big dummy with my mouth wide open, unable to say anything. I touch my chest instinctively and his eyes lose their shine in a heartbeat.
“A bit too honest?” he asks, alarmed.
“No, it’s alright.”
