“Patrick and Erin are out to dinner. We’ve got the house to ourselves and Liam will sleep on the couch when he gets home.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Knock it off, even if you’re just joking around. I’m happy to have a girls’ night.”
“Yeah, me too.”
We sit down comfortably on the couch ready to pick a movie to watch for the night. We eat in the dining room with our plates on our laps and relax with a mindless comedy.
We laugh, joke around and I start to feel better, calmer: being with Rain helps me. I missed her a lot when I was away.
Her phone goes off and Rain interrupts this moment of peace to get up and go answer it and I take the opportunity to go make us a cup of tea.
“Hi Liam. What’s wrong, can’t stay away from me?” she jokes and I smile because I know she’s happy because she’s found someone who loves her for who she is, which is simply fantastic.
“O-okay, I understand. But how can I?” I hear her say before she starts stuttering.
“Alright, okay. I’ll try. I’ll let you know.”
She hangs up and gives me a look that foreshadows something I don’t feel like dealing with tonight.
“What is it?” I ask and my mood has already changed.
“I know I promised you a nice calm night, with just the two of us, but the pub is jammed full of customers and they need me.”
“I understand,” I say, lowering my gaze. “I can go home…”
“Umm…to be honest, we could use a hand.”
“What?”
“I do realize I’m asking you for a lot and it could be too stressful for you, but you’ve worked in your dad’s coffee shop and being at the bar at the pub isn’t much different.”
“Me? You want me to work the bar? I don’t know, Rain…”
“I wouldn’t ask you if I weren’t sure you could handle it. Just a few hours to get them by the rush or until Patrick gets back.”
“I can’t face him tonight,” I admit, defeated, even if I know I can’t avoid it.
Here I am in his house, even if he’s not in it. If I know he’s not coming, I continue to look at the door, hoping it will open and there he’ll be with his rebellious hair and crooked smile.
Even if he’s not here, I feel it, his presence. It’s something that weighs heavily on me, rendering all of the barriers I’ve set up ineffective in not dragging me down to the depths.
Even if he’s not there, his absence is something that splits my chest in two and makes me want to die if I can’t kiss his lips just one more time.
“Here we are,” Rain announces as we enter the pub in a hurry, taking off our jackets. It’s true, the place is jammed with people and Liam is alone at the counter while Aaron, Jay and Keith are serving tables.
“Oh Dear, finally…Thank you.” Liam goes to give her a quick kiss. We had a stag party tonight and the guys are going crazy here. I have to get out on the floor. Can you handle it up here?”
“We got it.”
“Alex,” Liam says, looking at me. “If something’s not right or you feel like fainting…”
“I’m fine, Liam. I help my dad out sometimes. I can do this.”
He smiles at me and gives me a pat on the back before hitting the floor. Rain puts on her apron and we get to work behind the counter.
I like working with customers in the library, I don’t get much chance to integrate and contrary to what everyone seems to think, it’s not working that’s the problem, it’s not a sense of exhaustion. My emotions are my trouble, that’s what gets me.
