“Kiss me and shut up.”
And so I do.
My lips rest on hers again. It’s not that I haven’t kissed her in the last two months, but she was in the hospital, with doctors and nurses and family. You know, not exactly the most romantic setting. And she’s been so weak, I didn’t want to stress her. I had to content myself, let’s say. But now that she’s here I just want to kiss her for the rest of her life. For the rest of our lives together.
I would do it all again, every moment, even the darkest ones because the sum total has brought us to this point tonight in this pub which by now seems to be our meeting place, our house, the place where our extended family gathers. I’d do anything to have all this.
And I kiss her. Air that fills my lungs and the love I feel growing every second that passes fills my life, which before running into hers didn’t have value or importance. It was nothing compared to this.
The two of us. Forever.
Our forever.
“Alex,” I mutter, catching my breath. “You’ve just been released from the hospital. Your father is staring at me, Rain is crying behind you, like usual. Patrick has that same smart-ass smirk on his face that you’d like to help him rub off.”
She laughs so hard it rises above the noise in the pub.
“What the hell…”
“Sorry,” she says, kissing me again. “It’s just that this is all so perfect. You are perfect.”
“Knock it off. This place is a fucking dive. We are four senseless idiots who preferred to put their money into this instead of doing something worthwhile. Rain starts crying every time she seems someone happy, sad, angry and God knows what else. Patrick is never leaving the ‘hopeless asshole’ zone. Aaron continues to not want to show the world his real…interests. And if he could hear me now, he’d kick me to Belfast. We are damned imperfect and we could never be more than this, believe me.”
“That’s just what I like. This place, you all, this…family. I adore it in all its imperfection because that’s what makes it special and unique. Because it makes me perfect, and I can tell you that I’m far from perfect myself. Here with you, I just feel like myself.”
I didn’t think I could be any happier and instead, I was wrong. This woman is giving me everything, everything I needed. With her and all of them, I don’t feel alone, I never feel in danger, defeated or angry.
I feel good, I feel like I belong to someone, like I have a specific reason to be here. I feel like I still have infinite possibilities.
I feel love around me, the love I’ve been missing all these years since my mother died. And I only now understand that I’m to blame if I’ve let myself fall into darkness and solitude.
I created these walls with my own hands, leaving everything else outside. But there are no walls now.
Now I just want to beJason.
A son.
A friend.
A man who loves.
—
ALEX
“Oh, honey, finally!” Rain comes to me, hugging me tightly.
“Hey, we just saw each other three days ago.”
“I know, but it’s so good to have you here.”
“And I like being here. I brought my father and an extra friend,” I add.
The guys wanted to organize something to celebrate all together.
They called in some extra help to cover the workload. They wanted to go out, but the fact is I like it here.
Only4Youis like home for me.
