ALEX
“And I denied you everything…these moments together, you and I,” I say, biting my lip and feeling like a jackass for having kept him at a distance.
And I really believed I was doing the right thing. I thought leaving him alone I was giving him the chance to have everything he deserved without a dead weight around his ankles, dragging him down and stopping him pursuing his dreams.
I loved him, I always did. From the first day he showed up at my house with his mother with his jeans that were torn at the knees, his face caked in mud and his crooked smile.
I never thought I’d love someone else some day even if I did try to forget him. But my love for him was not something to be satiated and there was nothing I could do to destroy it.
I loved him enough to let him live.
“I did come that day,” he starts to say, pulling me from my thoughts. “The day you left. Aaron came to the shop where I was working then. He pulled me out and told me to run to you. I didn’t want to, I couldn’t stand another refusal but you know how Aaron is.” I smile at her. “He told me to move my ass and take the risk. So I did like he told me to. I ran to your house like I was running a marathon in the rain. I got there just in time to see your car leaving the driveway and Rain standing there crying. But I didn’t give up. I ran behind the car and followed along until the first traffic lights. I called your name. All I could see was your face behind the misted up window. Your hand was sliding down the glass as the distance grew between us—from my life and yours and all that we had together. I stayed there waiting for a green light that would take you away forever. And I didn’t do anything to stop you. I stood there under the rain watching you leave, convincing myself that it was somehow the right thing to do, to keep you at a distance so I couldn’t hurt you again.”
“I had no idea…”
He shakes his shoulders.
“I would have liked to keep you, to tell you what I felt, to confess for the first time that we weren’t friends and maybe we never were. Because what I felt for you was nothing like friendship. Not for a second.”
He holds me tightly and kisses my hair.
“I let you go, Alex. And I’ll never forgive myself for it. I’d only like to find a way to make up for it now even if I know all the time in the world won’t satisfy me.”
“This is enough. It’s already enough,” I say, looking up at him. “You are here now and I couldn’t feel happier, or more alive.”
“And this time I won’t go anywhere and neither will you. We’ll do it together…”
The last thing I hear before closing my eyes and letting myself be rocked in his arms and feeling his breath on my neck are his words, ‘Forever’ whispered in my ear.
