with words, I’ve never been able to open my heart,
but for her, for them, I would let someone tear it
out of my chest without even thinking about it.
For them, to be able to see them, and to touch
them, I would give anything in my power. I would
even trade my sorry life for them if it would make
any difference.
I don’t believe in any kind of religion and I’ve
never prayed in my life, but now I find myself
begging God and all of his fan club to take my
useless life and give me theirs in return. Because if
I lost even one of them, my heart couldn’t bear it.
If I lost them, I really would not have a reason
to get up in the morning.
They are my hope.
They are my world.
I want them to live and to be happy. I want them
to be a family, even if I can’t be a part of it.
27
Erin
I am dazed and tired. I can’t open my eyes but I
can sense a presence next to me and I can feel
something touching my hand. I move my head
slowly toward that sensation.
I open one eye and then the other. I blink again
and again before focusing on the figure at my side
who is holding my hand and has his face covered
in a beard.
The reality of it hits me in the stomach and
agony and fear assault me, together with hot tears.
