“You’re my brother,” she says, as though that would explain everything. In our case, it definitely doesn’t.
“So? You didn’t care about that in the last few years.”
She flinches almost imperceptibly, and a pained expression crosses her face but disappears again quickly. “You asked me if I would have given up my dream just because Mom and Dad wanted me to. I... well, let’s just say, I don’t want you to have to give up your dream.”
It’s been three weeks since I said that to her. Three damn weeks. Why is she only getting to it now? My eyes narrow to slits. Part of me wants to believe her, but another part knows better. “So you want to give me thirteen thousand dollars. Just like that. Without asking for anything in return?”
Lia blushes, and my shoulders tense up. “Yes... well... can’t you just try to smooth things out with Mom and Dad?”
I snort. That was so obvious. “So you’ll only give me the money if I make nice with Mom and Dad? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I just want you to try not to act like a complete asshole. They’d do anything for you, and you’re totally ungrateful!”
“I’mungrateful?” I snap and jump up. I bump the table as I move, and my cup falls over with a clatter. At least I don’t have to drink the stupid coffee now.
I notice the irritated glances of the other guests, but I couldn’t care less.
“Yes, you are!” Lia stands up too, and her eyes gleam with tears. “Mom and Dad would really do anything for you, and you don’t even notice!”
“They don’t accept or respect what I want or who I am, but sure, they’d do anything for me.”
“Jesus, Jase, they’re worried about you! You’re just not listening.”
“That’s total bullshit. Dad just wants to get his way, but I’m not Sam!” I shout. I lose control. The pain that I thought I’d buried is coming back up to the surface, and my heart clenches. Suddenly, everything hurts.
“No, you’re not Sam,” Lia says calmly. It’s clear what she’s thinking.It would make everything easier if you were.
“Fuck off,” I say flatly.
She crosses her arms over her chest, and her shoulders begin to shake. “None of this is any fun for me either, you know. I just want us to be a family again, so get it together and take the money.” She grabs her handbag and leaves the café before I can answer.
I wouldn’t have known what to say anyway.
Chapter 27
Jase
I always envied your relationship with Caleb. Lia and I never got along. I think she hates me, and I think I hate her too. Sometimes. Or always. I’m not sure anymore. And I hate that even more.
—Jase
I hate that Lia is putting me in this position. I don’t want her damn money, but I need it. There’s no way to sugarcoat it: If I don’t take it, I’m screwed. But if I do take it, I am too. I can’t just crawl back to my parents and pretend to be part of a happy family. I wouldn’t do that for all the money in the world.
As I return to the dorm, I feel numb. Empty. Exhausted. But I can feel the anger, disappointment, and frustration poised to take over. Waiting for the right moment to pounce on me when I lose control again.
That moment comes too soon, just as I unlock my door and hear another door opening as someone comes into the hallway. I can tell it’s Zoe without even looking. My shoulders tense before she says a word.
“Jase, can we talk?”
No, we can’t. If I talk more right now, I’ll say things that I’ll regret later. I ignore her, open my door, and am about to slam it behind me, but Zoe is faster. She blocks the door and slips into my room before I can stop her. And now I can’t avoid looking at her. The first things I notice are the dark circles under her eyes. She slept badly, just like me. Then I see sparks of anger in her eyes.
“Are you serious? You’re just going to ignore me? After that kiss? After everything you said?” She comes closer, and there it is again, her damn lavender scent. I don’t want to breathe it in. I don’t want to breatheherin, but I do anyway. I try to resist, but I can’t help it.
“You ignoredmefor a year after we kissed the first time. After you told me things that you shouldn’t have if you weren’t serious. So deal with it.”
She flinches and goes pale. My stupid heart reacts with reproachful hammering against my ribs, but I couldn’t care less now. The wall is shattered, and there’s nothing but the abyss. I was wrong: I didn’t fall. I threw myself over the edge intentionally. I’m so furious that it feels like I’m being torn apart from the inside. Blood rushes in my ears, and my hands are shaking so violently that I have to clench them into fists so she can’t see.
But that’s unnecessary. Of course she looks at my hands and notices. She sees everything.
