I should have told him about Jase, about the notes, and everything else.
“Caleb—” Jase says, but my brother silences him with a cutting gesture.
“My little sister? Are you serious?” His voice rings with annoyance, and I want to explain, but there’s nothing I can say.
Caleb turns away and stomps toward the house. I can’t help it; I have to follow him.
Jase grabs my wrist, stopping me. When I look into his eyes this time, all the hope has disappeared, and there’s nothing but fear there.
“I have to talk to him!” I say, trying to get away from him. His grasp tightens almost imperceptibly before he finally lets me go and nods.
“Let me...” His voice breaks, and he clears his throat, and my heart breaks a little for him. “Let me talk to him.”
I shake my head. “No, he wouldn’t listen to you. Trust me.”
Jase hesitates and then gives in. “Do you want to meet later in the treehouse?”
I nod quickly and run after my brother. I want to explain everything so he understands what’s going on between me and Jase.
As I walk into the house to look for Caleb, the music blares in my ears. But I don’t see him anywhere. I find Reed and Tristan playing beer pong at the dining room table.
“Have you seen Caleb?” I ask.
Tristan shakes his head, but Reed grins at me. “He just went upstairs. I think he was looking for the bathroom.”
“Thanks!” I blow him a kiss and push my way through the crowd to the stairs and past a couple who are making out on the bottom steps. Most of the doors are locked, but I know exactly which bathroom Caleb is in, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t go in there to use the toilet. It’s the last door on the left, the guest suite where I always sleep when I spend the night at Charlotte’s.
When I open the door, Caleb is there on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands buried in his dark hair.
He looks up when he hears me, and I gasp in surprise as I realize that my brother is crying.
“Caleb? What—” the rest of the question sticks in my throat.
“I’m such an idiot,” he says desperately, wiping the tears off his face.
“Why? What’s wrong?” I close the door behind me and walk over to him. An uneasy feeling hits my stomach.
“What’s going on with you and Jase?” His voice breaks as he says Jase’s name, and the uneasy feeling turns into a dark foreboding.
No, no, please not this.
“I... We...” I fall silent, and he laughs. It sounds infinitely sad.
“Are you in love with him?”
There’s no point in denying it. I can’t lie to Caleb. “Yes. But you don’t have to worry. Honestly. This is... different. You—”
“I’m not worried,” he says, interrupting me. And now angry tears pour down his face again, and I understand what he wants to tell me but can’t say.
“So you are too,” I whisper. This has to be a bad joke. There’s no way Caleb and I could have both fallen in love with the same boy. With his best friend.
Caleb nods, and my heart breaks.
He already told me weeks ago that he’s gay, and I know he only told Mom and Dad about it a few days ago. I also know he hasn’t come out to Jase and his other friends yet. He says he wants to wait because high school sucks and teenagers can be cruel.
But he didn’t tell me that he was in love, and I didn’t ask because I was sure that he would tell me if he was. I didn’t want to push him.
I don’t care who he falls in love with as long as it’s someone who treats him well and makes him happy.
