Get dressed.
Don’t think about Jase.
Blow-dry your hair.
Don’t panic again.
A loud knock on my door makes me jump up in horror.Please don’t be Jase.I don’t want to see him, don’t want him to look at me that way again. Even if I deserve it. I open the door anyway because I can’t help it. But it’s not Jase standing there in the hall outside my room. It’s Mae. Of course it is.
Why would Jase come? There’s no reason for it. I took every reason away from him.
But still, I taste bitter disappointment on my tongue before swallowing it down. I may have convinced myself that Jase was a part of my past, not my future, but the fact is, I will see him. It doesn’t matter if Francesca makes him my partner or not; I’ll still be forced to see him at least three times a week for an hour. I can’t ignore him and just pretend that nothing happened.
I could never do that with Jase.
“Zoe? Hey!” Mae snaps her fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. I flinch and feel the blood rush to my face. The look of worry on her face deepens.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, I... I’m sick,” I reply, and it’s not even a lie. Not really. “I think I should have eaten more this morning.” Relief floods through me. That’s a good excuse. Believable.
“You really should have.” The slight sound of reproach in Mae’s voice confirms it. She believes me. “You should talk to Francesca. She’s worried. We couldn’t find you anywhere after you left.” Now her eyes are accusing, but she still seems concerned, and I realize that she doesn’t want to upset me.
“I’m sorry, that was dumb. I just...” I manage a weak smile. “I didn’t want to throw up in front of everyone on the first day.”
“I can understand that.” Mae begins to smile, but she immediately becomes serious again. “Did you eat something now?”
I nod. “I had a protein bar,” I say, lying. Just the thought of eating anything makes my stomach turn.
“That’s good. Then... would you like me to come with you when you go to Francesca?” Mae looks at me expectantly. At first, I’m tempted to take her up on her offer, but then I shake my head. I don’t know how Francesca will react to my totally unprofessional behavior, and I don’t want to have any witnesses.
“That’s really sweet, but you don’t have to. It’s lunchtime now. I’ll go over alone, and then I’ll see you in class.”
“Good. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine.” I force myself to smile again, but my heart is already out of rhythm. Nothing is fine. Absolutely nothing.
Chapter 8
Jase
Have you ever felt lonely?
Always.
—J
“So, after that little drama, you really have to tell me what happened between you and Zoe,” Skye demands in a tone that has no patience for an objection.
I object anyway. “Nothing happened between us.”
Skye snorts indignantly. “Come on, Jase, I wasn’t born yesterday. No one just runs out of class on the first day unless something completely tragic happened. How and when did you break her heart?” She sighs theatrically and clutches at her chest.
Furious, I grind my teeth. “Why do you just assume thatIbrokeherheart?”
As if Zoe ran off without a word because I hurt her fucking feelings, either now or then. Skye’s eyes widen in surprise, and I immediately wish I could take my words back. “Does that mean that she brokeyourheart?”
Fuck.
