Part 5Coda
Phase Five of the Pas deDeux
Chapter 49
Zoe
For me, the fear of panic is sometimes worse than the panic itself.
—Zoe
“Zoe, it’s not what you think,” Reed says, swearing as he fumbles around for the light switch. A second later, brightness floods the small room. It doesn’t make me feel any better. Definitely not any safer.
This can’t be real. Itcan’tbe.
I must be dreaming, and I’ll wake up any second from this nightmare. There’s no other possibility.
But it’s not a nightmare. It’s real.
I’m leaning against the closed door, and it’s hard and cold against my back. Reed stands in front of me, too close, trapping me between his body and the door.
I’m captive, and he’s here.
He did this to me.
Everything about him is so familiar. His light-brown hair that’s always combed back but falling over his forehead anyway. His gray-green eyes with the long black lashes I’ve always envied him for.The little scar on his forehead from falling off the ladder of our treehouse when he was twelve. The dimples in his cheeks that are visible even when he’s not smiling, like right now.
I’ve known him for most of my life, and he’s the one who broke me.
Shame washes over me.
I feel so dirty.
Abandoned.
Broken.
Alone.
“Really, it’s not what you think,” he repeats, like maybe I just didn’t understand him the first time. I wish that were true. I wish I hadn’t overheard them at all.
I want my ignorance back. Immediately.
“Isn’t it? What exactly do I think?” My voice sounds thin and suffocated. It’s a miracle that I was even able to speak.
My body is numb, apart from where Reed’s hand is still touching my arm. That burns like acid.
He’s much too close to me. So close that I can smell his scent, sour and masculine.
I’ll never be able to forget it again.
I want to get away. I have to. But I can’t move. I’ve lost control over my body. Again.
And again, it’s because of him.
You’re in shock.
Yes, I am.
