“So what’s wrong? You regret it?”
“Of course I fucking do.” I took another gulp. “He’s…Bailey, and I chased him away. It was the right thing to do, but it feels fucking awful.”
“Was it?” Knight sipped his beer, looking thoughtful. “Bailey’s an adult, you said. Why are you so sure you can’t be with him?”
“Kind of a moot point since I already blew it.”
“Maybe,” he allowed. “But that’s some heavy news you gave him. Maybe he just needs some time to process.”
“You didn’t see his face. It was like I’d told him Santa wasn’t real.”
“Give the guy a break. You told him something shocking. If he knows you at all, he never would have seen that coming.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he knows you’re not violent, Flynn. We all do. What happened… Well, you told me enough that I know it could have happened to anyone.”
“I can’t make excuses like that.”
“Fine. But it doesn’t make you a bad man.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“More sure than you are,” Knight said. “Come on. You were in prison. You know what bad men look like. That’s not you, Flynn. So if you like this kid—er, this superhot man, I mean—then give him a chance to accept you as you are. Give him the whole story.” He gave me a pointed look. “Because I’m sure you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You can’t just drop a bomb and expect him not to run for cover. But once he wraps his mind around it, he’ll come back. He’ll want to know.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“Well, then he was never worth your truth in the first place. But something tells me you’re a better judge of character than that. If you like this guy, he’s got to be someone worth liking.”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I guess he is. But even if he comes around, how do I ever be worthy of someone like him?”
“Let him decide who’s worthy.” He slapped my back. “Because sadly, friend, you’re a little too hard on yourself. If it’s up to you, you’d never have nice things. You’d punish yourself forever. And that would be incredibly sad.”
“I never knew you were so deep,” I muttered.
Knight laughed and tipped up his pint glass to finish off his dark beer. “I’ve got hidden depths, especially when I drink.”
I chuckled. “You really do. So tell me the meaning of life, then.”
“It’s love, man. So don’t fuck it up.”
As it went, those weren’t terrible words to live by. I just hoped it wasn’t already too late for me.
CHAPTER 13
Bailey
On Friday,I went to Riverton because I couldn’t escape thoughts of school. Two days later, I was leaving school because I couldn’t escape thoughts of Riverton.
Most especially, thoughts of Flynn and how I’d left things.
I’d kissed him, and when he’d told me something really huge—really scary—I’d run away like a fucking child. Maybe everyone was right to treat me like I was immature. Flynn deserved better.
My backpack sat in my passenger seat as Monarch ate up the miles. It was stuffed with homework I’d been too unfocused to catch up on.
