“Hey, man. What’s up?”
I smiled ruefully as I sat down. Of course he knew this wasn’t a normal social call. “Thanks for meeting up away from everyone else.”
“Sure. Look, I like the guys in the program. We’re all in the same boat. But some of us are rowing, and some of us are just floating along, hoping we don’t drown. Know what I mean?”
“I think I’m closer to drowning than I ever realized.”
His forehead furrowed. Knight didn’t bother with beating around the bush. “What happened?”
“I, uh, told someone…what I did.” I lowered my voice. “My crime.”
“It didn’t go well, I take it.”
“No, but I can’t really blame him. I dropped it like an anvil on his head, you know? I did it to push him away, but…”
“You hoped it wouldn’t?”
“No, I really hoped it would. I didn’t expect it to feel this way, though.”
Knight lifted a hand to get the bartender’s attention. A woman who looked as if she’d partied one too many times headed our way, blonde ponytail swinging.
“Hey, boys, what can I get ya?”
“Another of these,” Knight said, pointing to his pint glass. “And…”
He looked at me. I shrugged. “Whatever’s on special.”
“You got it, sugar.” She winked. “For you, it’s on the house.”
“Oh, uh, you don’t have to?—”
“Sorry, Gail,” Knight said. “I think his heart is already taken, but I’ll pick up his tab. No worries there.”
She snapped her fingers. “The good ones are never available.”
“Ain’t that the truth?” Knight said, as if the man had the first clue what she meant. He wasn’t pretty like Hollywood, but he had a certain rugged handsomeness that turned plenty of heads.
Gail placed our pints on the bar, accepted Knight’s cash, and moseyed down the other end to serve some older guys.
“Don’t worry. She flirts with everyone,” Knight said. “But I wasn’t exactly lying to her, was I? About your heart being taken.”
I scoffed. “It’s not like that.”
“The person you told, the one you pushed away. It was that kid from last night, right?”
“He’s not a kid,” I said defensively, even though I’d called him the same more than once. “He’s nineteen.”
“Right. He’s legal, but not exactly wise, huh?”
I picked up my pint glass and took a big gulp. “I don’t know why I decided to talk to you.”
Knight laughed. “No shame, man. I’m trying to get a handle on whatyouthink. Why you chased him off.”
I pulled a face. “He’s my boss’s baby brother. He’s young. And I’m a fucking killer. That enough reason for you?”
“If that’s how you told him, no wonder he bailed.”
“Yeah, I know. I didn’t sugarcoat it or ease him into it. That was the point.”
