Blinking back tears, I lock them.
And breathe.
This isn’t right, but…
Part of me knows this isn’tmyRhodes talking.
It can’t be.
Right?
The only way to know sometimes is to do the thing you’re most scared of.
“Be brave, Finn,” I whisper, dropping the applications to the counter.
Then I grabmypapers—the ones with the travel plans I’ve been putting together, the plans that include him andChloe—and I march right back into his office.
“I need to talk to you about?—”
His eyes come to mine, cool and distant. “Are you still going on your trip?”
“Yes.” My throat works. “But?—”
“Then we have nothing to talk about.”
“Ineed?—”
“God, what?” he snaps. “What could you possibly need now?”
I flinch again, the wound inside me growing, the sharp question somehow hurting me even more deeply than his words from before had.
Still, I keep trying to be brave.
Because this is important.
It’s special.
It’s worth fighting for.
“Please stop,” I whisper. “Please stop and listen to me.”
“You’re just making this worse.” A pause. “For all of us.”
For me. For him.
For Chloe.
I look down at the papers in my hands and suddenly my plans don’t seem like nearly enough. A couple of trains, some stupid places to visit, an idiotic trip that he probably would never want to take in the first place.
But still, for one brief, painful second, I nearly hand the stack to him.
Nearly tell him I want him and Chloe to come with me.
That after all we’ve been through, I can’t dream of leaving them behind.
Nearly admit they matter enough for me to change my dream.
Then I hear all the things he said?—
