Because, God help him, he loved her.
Fourteen
“Come along, time to break the news to everyone.” Gabriel offered his arm to lead her into the drawing room where everyone had gathered before dinner.
Callie felt as though the pit of her stomach had opened into a great hollow void. She should never have sealed the deal with a kiss. It was a mistake. A huge mistake.
She didn’t want to break the news to anyone, didn’t want to do anything to take this idea from the realms of fantastical nonsense into grim reality.
Betrothed! To be married. To Gabriel Renfrew.
Pretending to the world that they were in love. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
But she had to, she reminded herself. For Nicky.
And the first thing she had to do was to regain her normal calm mien. Forget the sensations that rocketed through her body when she’d kissed him. It shouldn’t have been like that. It was supposed to be a businesslike kiss.
She couldn’t face anyone like this, all shivery and hot and unsettled.
She needed a long, relaxing bath. A cold one.
But everyone was waiting to go into dinner. She delayed the moment, hovering in front of the mirror, checking that her hair had not slipped from its knot. For a one-minute arrangement, Lady Gosforth’s maid had done an excellent job. It still seemed to be secure. And Lady Gosforth had given her an exquisite shawl of fine crimson cashmere, embroidered with gold thread, saying, “I adore crimson, my dear, but crimson, alas, does not adore me.”
It was true, the color was too high for the middle-aged lady but it suited Callie perfectly. It looked so rich and elegant; the drab gray dress was a perfect foil for it.
Last-minute excuses whirled around in her brain. She squashed them.
The marriage would make Nicky safe. It was all that mattered.
She could do this. It was all just for show, an act. The problem last time was that she hadn’t listened to all of Papa’s talk about what a convenient marriage meant. She’d fallen for Rupert’s handsome face and had allowed his attentiveness and gallant compliments to fool her into believing he returned her feelings. She’d convinced herself it was a love match.
She wouldn’t do that again.
Forewarned was forearmed.
If she didn’t fall in love, she couldn’t be hurt. All she had to do was not to fall in love with Gabriel. She could do that.
Once bitten, twice shy.
It was amazing how many excellent mottoes there were to remind her. She’d stitched hundreds of the beastly things. Why hadn’t she ever taken notice of them before now?
“What are you thinking?” her husband-to-be murmured.
“A stitch in t—” she began, then amended it hastily. “Just checking my hair.”
“You look very beautiful.”
Hah! Gallant compliment number one, she told herself. She peered in the mirror again and saw a round face, undistinguished nose, tidy plain brown hair, and a flushed countenance. So much for very beautiful. She frowned at her rosy cheeks, thinking that perhaps the crimson shawl was the wrong choice after all.
“Come on, you can’t spend the rest of your life hiding in here and hoping it will all go away. Dinner will be getting cold and I’m getting very hungry standing here watching you.” His voice deepened as he added, “You look like a delicious bonbon wrapped in that red thingummy, so unless you want me to start nibbling on you—”
She whisked herself to the door. He tucked her hand into his arm and led her toward the drawing room. His arm felt warm and strong under her hand. He looked magnificent in his evening clothes.
Not that she cared what he looked like.
He smiled down at her, his eyes warm. She gave him a cool and gracious smile. Calm. Polite. Distant. That was the way to do it.
She wished she could have worn her mother’s tiara, for courage and for luck, but it would be quite inappropriate for an informal family dinner. Callie held her head high as they entered the room, all eyes on them.
