She said heavily, “I fear I’ll disappoint you there, too.”
“We were friends as children, weren’t we?And you enjoy my company when we go riding, don’t you?It needn’t be any more than that.”
She sank down on the settee and eyed him solemnly.“Do you really mean that?Do you not want me in your bed?”
He considered that.“I do desire you, but I promise I will never force you.I will respect your wishes.”If celibacy was the price he had to pay to have her in his life, he would pay it.
But he hoped he wouldn’t have to.
She was silent for a long time, thoughts and worries flickering across her face.Marcus waited.She rose again and made several more agitated circuits around the room, then stopped abruptly and faced him.“Do you truly mean it, Marcus, that my company would be enough for you?Just my company?You’re not asking for any more?”
“I truly mean it.My word of honor on it.”It was the first time she’d called him Marcus since she was a child.He took it as a hopeful sign.
Her eyes were troubled, and she said in lowered voice, “You’re not hoping this will be a love match, are you?Because I can’t promise that.I don’t know if I can love anyone anymore.”
“I’ve never wanted a love match.”He saw the doubt in her eyes and said firmly, “It’s true.Ask my aunt.She will confirm it.I haven’t a romantic bone in my body.No, our marriage will be a practical solution for both of us: you will have a home and security for the rest of your life, and I will have a friend and a congenial companion for the rest of mine.”
“And you’ll marry me even knowing I’ve never quickened with child?And probably never will.”
“Yes, it doesn’t make the slightest difference to me.”
She took a deep breath.Marcus held his breath and waited.
#
TESSA PACED ANOTHERfew circuits of the room.What to tell him?Yea or nay?She really, really didn’t want to get married again but equally, she couldn’t bring herself to leave Marcus to face the scandal on his own.Lady Gosforth was right.He was a deeply honorable man, and he would loathe being spoken about in the kind of nasty, gleeful, faux-concerned, acid-saccharine manner she’d experienced herself in the past.
She was used to it: he wasn’t.And he absolutely didn’t deserve it.All he’d ever done was try to protect her.
Which was why he was offering marriage now—to protect her.But she knew how vicious gossip could get, and she justcouldn’tleave him to face that alone, not when he’d saved her from Edgar’s dreadful plot.
Edgar—where was he, she wondered briefly.It was a relief not to have to deal with him.But it wasn’t like him to simply let her go.
She pushed the thought aside.She had a decision to make.He was watching her calmly, his eyes steady.
Did she trust him?She did, unreservedly.
Did she love him?She’d been more than halfway in love with him as a child.And now ...But he didn’t want love, she reminded herself.Just companionship and friendship.Apracticalmarriage.
He was kind, and he listened.And he hadn’t tried to make her be someone she wasn’t.He’d even said he wouldn’t blame her for her barrenness.That was a relief.Hewitt had been furious with her, berating her every month, when it was clear that she hadn’t conceived.As if she’d tried not to, when the truth was she’d yearned for a child.Ached for someone to love, who would love her in return.She’d been so desperately lonely in her marriages.
He’d promised he wouldn’t force her to the marriage bed.She trusted his promises.She’d never enjoyed the marriage bed but ...she would try.Men wanted it, she knew, and it would be unfair of her to accept so much from him without giving him anything in return.
She would have a home.Security.And a man who respected her.It was more than she’d ever had —or ever dreamed of.
She owed it to him for all he’d done for her.
She turned to face him.“Very well, I—” She broke off and moistened her lips, then said in a rush, “If you are of the same opinion in a week’s time, I will marry you.”
He frowned.“Why wait?If you have reservations, share them with me now.”
She gave him an incredulous look.“My reservations?It’s you I’m thinking of—your reservations.”
“I have no reservations,” he said firmly.“And I will not change my mind.And may I remind you that we need to quash those damaging rumors as soon as possible.”
She bit her lip.“Oh.Yes.”His reputation as an honorable man was at stake.How could it have slipped her mind?The turmoil of being asked to marry him, she supposed.And having to confess her infertility.
“Marriage is the very best solution for both of us,” he said, his voice resolute.“In fact, it’s the only solution.The gossip will only get worse.So what do you say?”
