He put a finger over her lips, silencing her. “I understand.” Even more so than he could explain. He didn’t get close to people easily. Hell, maybe that’s why Amy left. Certainly he’d never felt this connection with her, not like he felt with Kyra. The trick, of course, was figuring out if it was real, or just a product of lust and island magic.
She told him her fantasy, then. About wanting a sensual adventure…and about why: her father, Harold, her decision to marry. At the wordmarriage, he cringed. He’d known all along there was nothing real between them—couldn’t be anything between them except friendship. But to know that she was practically engaged…
“What does your dad think?”
She rolled her shoulder with the slightest of movements, as he’d discovered was her habit. “He thinks it’s wonderful, of course. He and Harold get along great, he knows we dated for a while when I lived in New York, and his new son-in-law-to-be is going to save the station.” She smiled. “What’s not to like?”
“Your dad doesn’t know, does he?” Tony asked, feeling cold inside.
“Doesn’t know what?” The question was spoken innocently, but her face revealed that she knew exactly what he meant.
“That you’re marrying this guy out of obligation, not love.”
Her eyes flashed. “You don’t know that.” She looked away, no longer meeting his gaze. “I’d do the same thing whether I loved Harold or not. This is my family. Everything we’ve ever done is wrapped up in this business.”
“Do you really think your father would trade your happiness to save the business? Because you’re not going to be happy in a marriage based on a profit-and-loss statement. You deserve more.”
A single tear escaped, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. “I made a promise to my mother,” she whispered. “My great-grandfather started this company. It’s important to us. It’s important tome. It’s everything I have.”
He felt like a heel for pushing her. More than anything, he knew how hard it was to give up a career, how losing it could turn you inside out. Even so, he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, to convince her she was making a mistake. But he forced his hands to stay by his sides. Not only was that a foolish, knee-jerk reaction, but it would certainly put an end to their burgeoning friendship. She needed a shoulder, someone to talk to, not someone to criticize her decisions—especially not someone who really didn’t know about her life.
And certainly not someone who couldn’t do a damn thing to help her.
His rescuing days were over, and radio was way the hell and gone out of his league. But he could be a friend to her. No matter how many little deaths he died, he made up his mind he’d be a good friend.
But still some little demon prodded. He needed to know. In his gut, he just needed to know. “You never answered. Do you love him?”
She met his eyes coolly. “I’m going to marry him,” she said, killing some tiny bit of hope that he only then realized had been living in him. “He’s adored me for years. We started going out because he was interested in my family’s business, but it turned into more. He’svery good to me, and to my family.” She pressed her lips together, and he silently urged her to continue. “But it’s not like…”
“Not like?” he urged.
“My fantasy,” she whispered, and he knew that she was referring to him—or to Michael, anyway.
“Do you want to tell me?”
“It feels a little weird confessing this stuff to you.”
He felt weird, too. Weird and a little guilty. After all, he’d shared her bed, explored her body, watched as she’d opened herself completely for him. But she didn’t know, didn’t have a clue. His disguise and Stuart’s ad-libbed alibi had worked beautifully, and now here he was, pulling one over on this amazing woman.
But what choice did he have? Tell her? If he did that, he’d surely lose her, and that wasn’t a risk he was prepared to take. Not talk to her? Also unacceptable. Already she’d worked her way under his skin. He wanted to know everything about her, to be her friend. If he couldn’t help her in any real, useful way, at least he could be a shoulder for her to cry on.
What was that saying? The road to hell was paved with good intentions? Well, his intentions were the best, but he was already in his own private hell. And he didn’t intend to lose the one bit of heaven he’d run across in a long, long time.
Ignoring his demons, he took her hand and sat down on the sand, tugging her down beside him. The waves rolled in, covering their feet before rolling back outagain. “I know it feels weird, but ‘instant friends,’ remember? You can tell me anything.”
She nodded, one quick jerk of the head, and he could practically see her gathering her courage. “He makes me feel so special.” She pressed her lips together, blinking, and he was certain she was fighting tears. “It’s like he’s given me this gift of memories, something I can take back with me.”
Damned if she wasn’t describing the exact way he felt. His stomach twisted, and he wanted to reach out for her, wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. Instead, he schooled his face into an expression of polite interest. “Hell of a fantasy man. Did you analyze this fantasy as much as you do the rest of your life? Plotting it out on graphs and charts?”
She licked her lips, looking a little sheepish. “Well…yeah.” She sat a little straighter, silently defending her choices. “When I was trying to decide if I should marry Harold, I sat down and made a list of all the pros and cons.”
“Since you’re gonna marry the guy, I guess the pros won out?”
“Mmm-hmm. I assigned point values, and the pros won by a twenty-two point lead.” She shrugged. “So I’m sure I’m doing the right thing, except…” She trailed off, her teeth grazing her lower lip.
“Except some of the cons sounded pretty interesting.”
She nodded. “So I made another list. This time of everything I might be missing. And then I applied tocome here so I could get everything out of my system in one fell swoop.”
“Sounds like a pretty prudent plan.”
“Thanks,” she said, apparently missing the sarcasm.
She reached out and grabbed his hand, then gave it a little squeeze. “I’m very happy with the daytime adventure part. And I’ve had at least one good nighttime adventure.” She dropped his hand then, shoving her own between her knees almost as if she was embarrassed. “I guess I’ll know more about that tonight, huh? I mean, Michael may not come again.” Her lips grazed her bottom teeth. “And if he doesn’t, I wonder if Merrilee will arrange another encounter.” She squinted slightly, as if she’d just tasted something unfamiliar and was trying to decide if she liked it.
“Yeah,” he said, suddenly realizing that he’d turned a complete one-eighty. He had planned to stay away, planned to protect his own heart. Now he wondered if Michael was going to have to show up tonight after all. “If he doesn’t come…this Michael…if there’s someone else…” He took a deep breath. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” she said, her eyes sad. “I guess I’ll have to wait until tonight’s poolside party to see.”
He swallowed, unable to stomach the thought of another man touching her. “Yeah,” he repeated. “I guess you’ll know tonight.”
