The movement is subtle, but I notice it immediately. Her hand slips into the bag she’s always carrying around. What I wouldn’t give to go through the contents and learn things about her no one else will ever know. She pulls out her phone and for a moment she simply stares down at the screen.
Then something shifts. Livingston’s entire posture changes in a way that makes my stomach drop.
The softness in her shoulders disappears, replaced by a sharp tension that runs straight through her spine. Her head lifts abruptly as she scans her surroundings.
Alarm is all I see etched on her pretty face.
Something on that phone just set every instinct she has on edge.
Before she can turn far enough in my direction, I step back quickly and press myself into the narrow space between two stone buildings. I don’t even know what classes are held here. In fact, I haven’t been to one single class Caiden signed me up for. He told me to immerse myself, to act like a real student, but to be honest if I was a real student here, living the college life with my pretty girlfriend and a coveted spot on the rugby team, I wouldn’t go to class either. I’d spend every single day doing whatever the fuck I wanted, and that would mean a lot of days not getting out of our bed.
The cold wall is damp against my shoulder as the rain continues to fall, but I barely register the sensation.
My attention is locked on Livingston and whatever the hell has her so scared.
She looks around again, more erratically this time, her eyes searching the darkness in a way that sends a tight, violent clench through my chest that settles in like a slow burn.
And the second I find out who caused that look on her face, I’m going to ruin them.
I don’t even hesitate over the thought.
It arrives fully formed and completely certain.
Whoever upset her enough to make her look over her shoulder like that has no idea how close they are to making the worst mistake of their life.
Livingston stands there for another moment, her gaze moving slowly across the street one last time before she finally slips her phone back into her bag.
Then she walks faster.
The careful pace she held earlier is gone now, replaced by long, purposeful strides that carry her quickly down the cobblestone path that will lead her straight to her dorm.
I pull out my phone and watch the cameras in her bedroom until she comes into view. Just as an extra precaution, I check all the cameras in the house, even the ones in Juniper’s room since I know she’s not in there. Kalen would probably still be mad that I hacked his setup, but with my girl being there alone, I’m not taking any chances that someone is inside waiting for her. I turn and sprint down the street because I want to watch her on my monitors in my room. I’m sure I’d get flagged as a creep if I said it out loud, but I have an entire system set up, and I can watch her from multiple angles at once. I haven’t known much comfort in my life. This one thing, being able to watch even the smallest movements as she gets ready for bed or sets up at her desk to study, calms me in ways I can’t explain.
BASH
The distance between where Livy resides and the Ruck House isn’t far, which is obviously all by design. At first, I wanted her to live alone without a roommate because that would give me full access to her, and it would feel like I had her to myself. But Caiden, who isn’t that much older than me, but seems to have been running his part of the world since he was twelve, pointed out that I’d have a much better shot of easing her into letting me be part of her life if showed up as Kalen’s teammate, someone she already has to be around because of Juniper. I’ve already fucked that up a bit, I’d say because of the whole gawking at her like I’ve never seen a woman before in my life. I mean, to my credit, I haven’t paid attention to any of them, and I think that should balance out the fact that the first time we’ve spoken in all these years, I blurted out that I’d always protect her.
The cold air burns in my lungs as I run, and rain is pouring now, pelting against my face, soaking through my clothes and dripping from the edge of my hood, but I don’t slow down.
By the time I reach the house, I swear I can feel my heartbeat hammering throughout my entire body. The pulsing is agitating, and I know it’s because I had to leave her. I’ve never felt anaching sensation like this before. I need her in ways I can’t even explain, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.
Most of the guys are still out celebrating the win, which means the house is almost completely quiet when I take the stairs two at a time toward my room. Nights like this, most of the guys don’t come back until the sun is up. Except for maybe Kalen, but I’d never hear him anyway. He’s a quiet motherfucker. Jeremy, from what he tells me, makes an appearance at the pub just long enough for people to think he’s there and then he fucks off to one of his three sister’s homes. Apparently he’s the youngest by a big age difference, and he’s the only boy in the family. I’m not a psychoanalyst, but I’d venture to bet that’s why he acts like a giant toddler sometimes.
I realized that the other day when Kalen called me over to the pub at like ten in the morning, saying he had some super secret thing to do in the countryside. He reiterated that it was a secret, and he couldn’t divulge where he was going, and I had to remind him that I literally do not care if he was going to burn down an old folks’ home. Not my business or problem. All of that just to ask me to keep an eye on Juniper for him. A face-to-face meeting at a restaurant that should have been a text. When I was leaving, I realized that Jeremy was there too. He didnothave any super secret missions, but instead was forcing The Red Boot Pub’s cook to let him make suggestions to the menu because it’s the only place he’ll eat aside from his sisters’ homes.
I feel nothing but relief when I’m in my room and the monitors glow softly in the dark. I don’t bother turning on the light as I change out of my wet clothes and into dry sweatpants.
Over two dozen small camera feeds flicker across the screens.
Campus walkways.
The street outside Livingston’s house.
But that’s not what I need to see tonight. I move a few things around and make one of the monitors show only one room. It’sbroken up into a few camera angles, and I pick the one I want and enlarge it to be the entire screen.
My chest tightens slightly when the feed of my girl’s room flickers to life.
If I can’t be with her, I’m going to watch every move she makes. I’ll count how many times she brushes her hair, and every lash framing her beautiful eyes.
