She almost didn’t want to tell him. It made her feel too vulnerable. “No one. I have a contract with The Hideout, and everyone knows my rules. When I need a session, I usually ask Gabe and whoever his switch of the week is. Sometimes Doms who work at Top come in and I play with some of them. I’m not a nun, Ben. I’ve had D/s sex. It’s what works for me.”
She felt his hand on her ass, cupping it as though testing the flesh he found there.
“So you’ve never had a full-time Dom?”
“Is that what you are?” It was what she wanted, but she didn’t see how it could work. Not really. Although they did work together a lot, and if she was Kara then she could request his backup or he could request hers. Their countries had some awkward times together the last decade, but they were working to repair the issues.
“As long as we’re together, yes. Like you said, it’s what works for you. I would have told you I could take it or leave it, but I want that contract with you. I want you bound up. I think it’ll be far easier to deal with your family if I have that contract,” he admitted. “But mostly I want it because I want to look at it and see your signature. The one that lets me know you trust me to do this.”
The smack was heard before she felt it. The sound cracked through the room, and Kenzie felt the air whoosh out of her lungs. He hadn’t warmed her up.
She liked it that way. She’d even told him once. She’d been flirting with him, talking about D/s. It was her way of putting all the flags on the table and letting him decide which ones were red.
She lost the purity of the pain later. Later it was something comforting, but these first few moments were like a shock of cold water.Like the times when she was a kid and she would jump into the lake long before it was warm. She would leap and for a moment her whole body felt like a live wire, and then she would jump out and the sun warmed her and she felt open.
The sensation was both shocking and weirdly arousing. It was a jolt to her system, and she got to decide how to react to it.
Her nipples tightened, and she let herself relax. “Again.”
“Oh, you think you control this, sub?” Ben asked, his voice going to a lower tone that made her pussy tighten again. “I have a contract that says you don’t, and I have things I want to do. Do I need to tie you down? Or can you be still?”
“It depends on what you have planned.” She didn’t always enjoy being tied down. She would need to work her way into it, but she was excellent at staying still.
Another crack and she could swear her eyes damn near crossed. It had been so long since she’d had a Dom who was willing to go hard with her. The guys at The Hideout always treated her like she was made of glass even after she talked to them.
They were afraid of her family seeing the welts and bruises.
The trouble was she wanted them.
“I’m going to do whatever I want.” Every word out of Ben’s mouth felt like a wicked promise. “Your body is mine. This ass and pussy are mine. Your tits are mine.” He reached out and dragged her arm up, kissing her fingers before sucking them into his mouth. “This is mine. So is this.”
He leaned over and put his mouth on the side of her neck and bit down.
She nearly came off the bench. He’d meant that bite and he’d done it well. Not enough to break the skin, but the mark would be there for days. She would feel it and remember this time with him and…
“You can’t do that,” she said suddenly, remembering. She could hide it with her hair. Except she often had to put it up or it could be a weapon against her in a fight. “Shit. You can’t mark me like…”
He stopped and pulled back, his hands coming up. “I’m sorry. You said you like biting. I won’t do it again. I’ll help you up.”
What happened? She took a long breath because that had been a response she no longer needed. She’d forgotten. For a second she’d forgotten she didn’t have to be careful anymore. She sat up, reachingfor his hands. He’d paled. “Ben, I’m the one who’s sorry. I wasn’t thinking. For years I’ve had to worry about marks on my body, especially where someone could see.”
“Because you and Kala were Kara, and Kara had to always look the same. It was why you had the same hair and wore the same clothes?” he asked quietly. “Kenzie, I want to ask about the scar on your back. Can I touch you?”
She gripped his hand. The last thing this man needed was more guilt. She laid back down, hoping they could get through this quickly because he’d done nothing to her except give her hope this session would be different. “Of course. Ben, I’m sorry. It’s something I’m having to let go of. I had to be careful before.”
“You weren’t even allowed to play the way you liked,” he murmured, and his fingertips traced the scar right under her shoulder blade.
She did not want to explain how she got that one, so she went with history. “I got that in a knife fight.”
“The one in Lyon? You chased the target down an alley and he had a knife.”
Oh, those words felt like a trap. She’d known Kala had run into Ben since they’d all been after the same intelligence. But she’d sworn she lost him. “Did you read that in a report?”
“Are we still playing, Kenzie?”
That felt like a trap, but she wasn’t sure she wanted out. “Of course we are.”
“Did you get that in Lyon?”
