I would be in my forties by the time I would be able to search for love again, and by then, it would be too late. Everyone would have settled down and had their children already, most of those children adults themselves then.
If I took Vulgaris’s offer, I would forfeit a chance at love.
A love like the kind I read about in the books tucked away in the back of the library, the ones that were the first to be burned in the winter if firewood was scarce. I swapped a lot of them for stuffy books about woodwork and rug-weaving, stuff that no one would notice was missing. Several of the books were in my room, tucked under my bed so no one would discover my collection. Perhaps I was a fool to risk the crown for a chance at love, but I’d rather be dumb than heartless. “Thank you for the offer, Vulgaris. But I stand by what I said before—I want to marry for love.”
His eyes flicked away to the fire, and he sank into the armchair, his curled fingers coming toward his lips as he sat there deep in thought. Seconds turned into minutes, and he remained withdrawn.
Surely he couldn’t bethatdisappointed. Did he actually think I’d say yes to marrying a man nearly thrice my age? A man who had been considered family since before I was born? My father’s best man at his wedding? Even if it was a political marriage of convenience that allowed us to pursue our own relationships, it was still a marriage.
He finally turned his head back to me. “Can I be candid with you, Hanne?”
I stared at his face, watched the light strike his features and deepen the shadows under his chin. “I assumed we were always so.”
“I believe the Ring of Elders will reject any suitor you select. They don’t want a woman to lead, don’t want a woman on the throne. But because of my ties to this kingdom and the crown, they won’t be able to procure a valid reason for my dismissal. This is the only way you claim the crown.”
My father hadn’t liked the Ring of Elders, and neither had my mother, from what he’d told me. The Elders seemed to think they were the true leaders of the kingdom, that the crown and the person who wore it was just a puppet. “As much as I want the crown to stay in my blood, there are more virtues than power. Instead of fighting a battle I can’t possibly win, I will step aside and allow the crown to enter a free election.” Let the people decide the next family to reign over the Kingdom of Baccara. It felt like a betrayal to my father and his father before him, but my father would want me to be happy above all things.
Vulgaris couldn’t restrain his reaction. With shocked eyes and a clenched jaw, he behaved as if I’d said something deplorable. He straightened in the chair and sat slightly forward, his eyes scanning me for a sign of insanity. “The crown has been in your family for generations, and you would just…give it away?”
“Not give it away. Usher in a new era of rulership.”
“Perhaps the Ring of Elders are right—you are just a naïve child.” Like a horse that burst through a stable, he came out in a stampede.
“I will take the crown if I can do so unmarried, and if I can’t?—”
“You’re a spoiled brat to think the laws should change to accommodateyourpreferences. We do not live in a fairy tale like the dirty books you take from the library. They’ve poisoned your mind with dreams that have no basis in reality. Marriage is a partnership, a union of two equal parts to make a whole, to forge a life together based on status and ideology. Any marriage that starts with love ends with bitterness and resentment because love is fleeting and lacks any real foundation. It’s mud—and the second you step in it, you sink.”
I felt like I’d been slapped in the face again. But I hadn’t expected my father’s best friend to strike me, of all people.
He abruptly rose from the chair and stepped away, his muscular build rigid from the anger, stiff like a tree trunk that defied the winter storm that knocked over all the oaks in its vicinity. He stopped, the dark-blue fabric of his coat gleaming in the glow of the fire. He hesitated like he might say something else, perhaps apologize for his vulgarity, but the words never came.
He looked at me over his shoulder, his blue eyes a distinct mix between their color and the red of the flames. “Reconsider this nonsense. You’re a woman now, not a child, and it’s time you behave as such.” The stare that followed was more intense than the fire at my side, more intense than the rage I’d felt in the midst of the Elders.
PROLOGUE II
HANNE
Two days passed, and I spent that time in my room, not wanting to deal with the reality that lurked outside these walls. I had mere days until my twenty-second birthday arrived, and without a suitor to supervise my rule, I would be denied my birthright. The only acceptable suitor was Vulgaris—and he was the last man I wanted to be my husband.
But I had no other choice.
There was only one person I would seek out for advice, but he was dead. If he weren’t, I wouldn’t be in this situation at all. Or better yet, if I were a man, the crown would be mine with no contestation.
I wanted it all—the crown, the husband, the marriage.
But apparently I asked for too much.
If I had been a son, I would rule on my own. And one day, a beautiful woman would cross my path, and we would begin a lustful affair behind closed doors. I would fall hard and then ask her to marry me, not because I had to, not because I had to be wed by a certain year of life—but because I wanted to.
It wasn’t fair.
It was an unusually warm day for winter, the sun bright in a cloudless sky. The air was dry and harsh on the lungs, but I could see hints of distant spring. I sat on the terrace to have my lunch, warmed by my heavy coat and fur-lined breeches.
Kendra set the table with my meal, and she included a single red rose in a glass vase she’d clipped from the garden. Bright red, the color of blood, it was a burst of color against the gray stone, the dead trees, and the white snow that had piled on the banisters in the night.
If I didn’t eat the food immediately, it would grow cold, but I hadn’t had much of an appetite lately.
Kendra stepped onto the balcony. “Steward Vulgaris is here to see you, Princess Hanne.”
