Jackson was still talking: ‘And I saw Nelly come out of the shelter, so I knew you were there.’
‘You saw Nelly?’
‘Yes, but the bombs were falling and I had to go.’
‘Why didn’t you stop her?’
‘Stop her?’
‘Send her back to the shelter.’
‘I was just worried about you, Elsie.’ Jackson reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand. ‘You’re the only one I care about.’
Sickened, I ducked my head away from his hand.
‘Don’t be like that,’ he said. ‘I’m trying to help. I promised Billy.’
He reached out again and this time I reached out and pushed his hand away roughly.
‘Elsie,’ he said. His voice held a warning tone, like he was my father and I’d done something wrong. ‘I’m only being nice.’
‘Don’t be nice. I don’t want you to be nice.’
‘But I told Billy …’
‘Stop it,’ I said. My voice was shrill and my throat hurt but I had to say this. ‘Stop talking about Billy and stop following me around.’
‘Elsie …’
‘Go away, Jackson,’ I shrieked. ‘Go away and leave me alone.’
Chapter 21
Jackson didn’t go away. Not for a while. He sat on the wall outside the house while I ran a bath and peeled off the skirt and jumper I’d been wearing since we went into the shelter. It seemed like a lifetime ago. My clothes were grubby and reeked of smoke. I thought I’d put them into the tub to soak when I’d got out.
As I tested the temperature of the water, I peeked out of the window and to my relief, saw Jackson had gone. Thank goodness. He didn’t scare me, not exactly. Or at least he hadn’t scared me before today. But he was just around all the time, and I’d definitely seen a flash of something in his eyes – irritation, perhaps, or anger even – when I’d pushed his hand away that made me feel a flutter of unease. Mind you, it had been a long and difficult day, and perhaps I was imagining things. He wasn’t a bad bloke, really, was he?
Quashing my misgivings, I got into the bath and tried to relax into the water. But it was cold and I couldn’t turn my worries off, so I simply gave myself a good scrub with a tiny amount of soap, and then got out again. I put on my dressing gown, dropped my smelly clothes into the tub and sat down in front of the fire to dry my hair. It seemed strange doing these everyday tasks while Nelly was so poorly. But what else could I do?
*
Even though Jackson had gone, when there was a knock on the door, I was still cautious because I knew he’d come back. He always did.
‘Mrs Gold?’ I called before I opened it.
‘It’s me.’
I let her in and she put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. I had a sudden flush of embarrassment about my threadbare dressing gown and bare legs, but she didn’t seem to notice. She’d changed her clothes and washed her face, and the wound on her head had a clean plaster.
‘How is Nelly?’
‘She was asleep.’ I couldn’t begin to tell her the things the nurse had told me.
‘Before I left the hospital earlier, I popped into your ward. And I spoke to a lovely nurse there. Bateman her name was. I asked her to make sure your book carried on being passed round.’
‘You did that?’
‘It’s important, like you said.’
