‘Please get better, Nell,’ I begged, my voice catching. ‘I’ve got so much to tell you.’
Did I imagine it or did her eyelid flicker?
‘Time to go,’ Matron said from the door.
‘Her eyelid moved.’
‘She’s probably due some medicine,’ Matron said, efficiently checking the chart at the end of Nelly’s bed. ‘We’re keeping her sedated because of the pain.’
‘Can I come back later?’
‘Visiting hours are three until five, and then again from eight o’clock.’ Matron’s expression switched from professional to sympathetic and she reached out and squeezed my arm. ‘We’re doing everything we can for her.’
‘What …’ I took a breath. ‘What treatment will you give her?’
The matron grimaced. ‘We’ve been using saline baths to clean burns. It seems to be effective, but it’s painful for the patients.’ She blinked. ‘It’s all painful. We gave her a general anaesthetic so we could clean her wounds when she first arrived, but we can’t do that every time.’
Slowly, I let out my breath. ‘What about infection?’
‘It’s a big risk, you know that.’
I nodded.
‘And the fluid loss is a worry too. But we know what we’re doing. We’re going to look after her.’
‘I know.’
She ran a practised eye over me. ‘And in the meantime, you need to look after yourself,’ she said. ‘Go home, sleep, wash, eat, and come back later. But only for an hour. Are you back on the wards tomorrow?’
I nodded and Matron gave me a quick, kind smile. ‘We need you, Nurse Watson. Take care of yourself.’
Feeling close to tears again, I nodded. ‘Thank you,’ I muttered.
*
I was so tired, I wasn’t sure I could face the short walk home, but I had no choice. So simply concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other – left then right, then left again – I headed back to the house.
All around me were signs of last night’s raid. The recovery teams were still there, checking the damaged houses. There were many piles of rubble that told me houses had been hit and some fires were still burning. I thought it must have been one of the worst raids this area had suffered so far and shuddered at the thought there could be more to come.
Along with the recovery teams and the ARPs, there were lots of people milling around in the streets, looking more than a little lost. I wondered if their houses had been destroyed and where they would go. I’d heard that some people who’d been bombed out were living in the caves, a couple of miles away in Chislehurst. I couldn’t imagine spending all my time underground, but at least they would be safe. Perhaps if we’d gone to the caves when the siren had wailed, Nelly would …
But no. I couldn’t think about that now. I had to get home. Left, right, left.
My pace slowed as I approached the corner of our street, nervous about what I would see. I felt a bit sick, and my head was pounding, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the smell of smoke that hung in the air, or because I was hungry or scared.
A milkman, his face dirty with soot, walked past me as I rounded the corner. He was holding four bottles of milk, and looked so normal and everyday that I almost felt I was dreaming for a second. ‘Morning! Lovely day,’ he called cheerfully.
Bewildered, I looked up at the sky. Was it morning? It seemed so. It was cold but bright and the weak wintry sun was trying its hardest to break through the smoke.
Life went on, I thought in bewilderment. The sun came up every day and the milk was delivered and the buses rumbled along bomb-damaged streets taking people to their jobs. Itdidn’t seem possible, and yet it was happening right in front of me.
Feeling my shoulders tense, I walked towards our house, wondering how it would look. I could see the damage to our neighbours’ building already. But ours seemed to be untouched, standing strong despite the carnage around it.
And there, sitting on the wall outside was Jackson. And he’d seen me, and he was rushing towards me, and my treacherous feet carried me in his direction. Left, right, left.
‘Elsie, oh Elsie, I’ve been so worried.’ Jackson’s breath was quick and his Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down in his throat. ‘The siren went and I knew it would be a bad one, because it was such a clear night, and I wanted to come and check on you because I knew that was what Billy would have wanted, and I rang your doorbell, but the siren was so loud and that must have been why you didn’t hear it, and I knew you weren’t at work because it wasn’t your night shift …’
So it had been him I’d seen outside our house.
