Chapter 1
Proctor
Laying on my back in this fucking jail cell felt like hell on earth most days, but it was worse right now while waiting for my trial to end. The concrete was cold even through the two thin ass mattresses I managed to finesse from another inmate who took food over comfort. I had to do something to feel a little relief. I had fifteen years of throwing niggas around, both dead and alive on my back, and I may look young and fuck like a twenty five year old, but these conditions would wear down on even the youngest of men. My hope is that if I do get out of here after trial that I will still be able to do the same shit I did before coming in. Not slowed down because of the fuck ass conditions the judicial system puts innocent men in, because after all, I am innocent. They got the right game but the wrong nigga. I didn’t kill Josiah, and I can put that shit on everything.
My lawyer argued that the jury and the judge needed to look past the footage of Josiah walking into the club my son owned, and the footage from hours later of me pushing a cart out with a large bag on it. My lawyer argued it did not mean there was a body in that bag and I was simply taking out old bottles of liquor or something else club related. When he said that shit in court, I had to hide the expression on my face ofyeah right mutha fucka, because it was in fact a body. Yes, I was guilty oftransporting Josiah’s body but not killing him.That was my son body, but I would never tell a soul.
The police didn’t find much evidence against me other than figuring out that I fucked Josiah’s fiancée that weekend through surveillance footage. They saw me, Ari, and her homegirl leaving together and played that shit in court in front of all her in-laws. They gasped, smacked their lips, whispered about her under their breaths, probably calling her fine ass everything but a child of God. I quickly saw why she didn’t show up in court until yesterday, and that was because she was subpoenaed to testify by the prosecution. The entire time she was on the stand, I stared at her fine ass, visualizing her bouncing on my dick more than I had visualized my freedom while being locked up.
They tried to paint the picture that I was getting Josiah out of the way so that I could have his bitch like I couldn’t have her with him standing a few feet away if I wanted to. I would suck on her pussy lips as he sucked his teeth, had that been the case. Big Proc can’t be tamed, and I never had to kill a nigga to get any bitch I want.
The jury had been deliberating for over two days, and every hour felt longer than the last. This morning, I went down to chow and ate that nasty ass toast and oatmeal because I wanted something cooked, and when I got back to my cell, I got word that they had a verdict in on my case after all these months of waiting for my fate. Now I was just laying here, waiting to go back to court.
I still don’t know what the fuck they will decide, and I want to believe that my lawyer did his job and convinced them that I didn’t kill that fuck nigga, but who knows. The jury probably convinced themselves I did it solely because of my appearance. Being a tall, darkskin nigga like me is both intimidating anddetrimental in court. It could get me locked up quicker than a confession in cases like this.
My big ass feet, and hands, and the way I carried myself was how I got into security in the first place. Growing up, everyone used to tell me I could go pro as a tight end or some shit in the NFL, but my attitude was too fucked up for that shit. While in high school, I slapped my coach for taking me out of the championship game on a crucial play, then I hung up my cleats and started robbing niggas until I got a job working at a small strip club named Brussies back in Houston.
At Brussies is where a club owner named Victor came in to enjoy himself on a business trip and saw me at the door regulating shit. He recruited me to his club almost like the NFL would have recruited a man to a team because he liked the way I handled myself and the stature that I had. That landed me in Vegas, and ultimately, my son came too, which, in the long run, got him all those millions from Kansas. Knowing that I was a part of his destiny made me proud. That’s why I protected him with everything in me and would do that up until the day I take my last breath. My biggest prayer is that I’m in the ground long before my son is. That nigga is my world, and I will always protect him, just as I’m doing now.
There was a sharp thud of the locks turning at the door, and that caused me to sit up on the side of the bed.
“Proctor, you ready? The patty wagon to court is outside waiting on you.”
The guard Neiman asked from the doorway. Neiman was on my son’s payroll to make me as comfortable as I could be in this bitch. He was making more money on the side sneaking me in cell phones, liquor, and shit than he made from the state of Nevada corrections in a year. Hawk had done everything inhis power to make sure I was straight in here, and I appreciated that shit. A lot of niggas would’ve folded in my position like a throw blanket, but he knew I would be solid like a cement slab. Snitching on my son was never an option, and I taught him to be cutthroat, so this is a consequence of that. If I have to give up the rest of my life for him, I would. All I asked was that he take care of my daughter with Ari. She denied that the little girl was mine, but when Hawk sent me that picture of that little chocolate beauty, there was no denying that she was mine. I just wasn’t making a big deal out of it until the case was over.
Once I loaded the shuttle, we traveled over to the courthouse, and I was escorted inside in shackles like a slave. Being a big nigga was hard behind bars. I had to bend down to do simple shit like get in the shuttles and walk through doors because nothing in this world seemed to be made for a 6’5 nigga. The towels they gave me inside were so small them shits could barely cover my dick, and if it wasn’t for commissary, I would be hungry daily with them small ass portions of slop they served us. The beds were too short, and my wrists were too wide for these fuckin cuffs, but I wasn’t going to complain out loud to any fuckin body. Complaining would’ve been too much like succumbing to this shit, and I wasn’t letting prison beat me. I may lose in court today, but one thing I will always be is a nigga who stands ten toes down on whatever I have to. Even if it’s doing life for a murder I didn’t commit.
When I walked into the courtroom, I glanced across every face in here, even the ones who hoped a nigga went down for this shit. Josiah’s family looked at me, and I stared right back at them until they eventually broke, cutting their eyes to their laps because they weren’t built to intimidate me. When I spotted Hawk and his wife in the front row, I nodded my head at them, and he nodded his head back, and she flashed a quick,uncomfortable ass smile. I hear from my son that Josiah’s family was giving her and Ari a hard time about this shit, but I knew my son wasn’t going to let anything happen to his lady. I bet he drops six mutha fuckas before they can come close to her. He got that true love in his eyes for Cyn. Some shit I never really felt. Not even with his mother.
When I sat down in my chair, I glanced over to the jury stand where juror number eight was looking right back at me as usual. I’d caught her staring at a nigga several times during the trial, peeking past the corner of her glasses, either judging or choosing, I couldn’t tell. She was a modest looking bitch. Glasses on, hair pinned up like a fuckin librarian. It was bitches like her that fantasized about a nigga like me the most. The good girls who do everything right always want to taste the semen of a ruthless nigga on their tongues just once. I tell her what, she help me get out of these shackles, and I’ll give her some dick. Change her life so much that she stops wearing glasses because she doesn’t need to see another nigga. I enjoyed pleasuring women and turning their asses out. It was my favorite past time.
The courtroom wasn’t packed because I didn’t have much family here, and Josiah’s people only took up one row.
I’m guessing the large lady in the blue church dress with the long grey dreads was his mama, and the niggas next to her were his brothers or cousins or whoever those little niggas were. They had their arms wrapped around each other, giving that look of validation to one another that everything was going to be alright. They were nervous like their lives were on the fuckin line when I’m the one who life is up against this shit. When it’s all said and done, their lives won’t change much if I’m in jail. That nigga is still going to be dead, and I’ll still be living and breathing being Big fuckin Proc whether in prison or out.
The court process went through as usual, and the judge came out acting like she was God herself. I tuned out everything else that was going on in the courtroom because it didn’t matter much to me. My lawyer, Ernest Harthone, was more nervous than I was. He tried to keep his cool, but I could see the fear in his eyes about this case. Of course, every lawyer wants their clients to win, but my son had promised him when he was hired that if I didn’t get off, someone would be prosecuting his missing persons case next.
“Okay, here we go.” Ernest leaned over to me when the bailiff told the court to rise.
“Has the jury reached a verdict?”
“Yes, your honor.” The tight-lipped white lady, who was the forewoman of the jury, replied.
Right now, was the moment the words not, or guilty was about to decide my freedom, but they damn sure wouldn’t decide the end of my story. I’ll be Big Proc no matter where I am because when you are born that nigga, you die that nigga too.
“We, the jury, find the defendant, Harrison Proctor.”
Chapter 2
Ari
“Shut up Cyn! It was not guilty?”
“Yes. You know Anne and her boys are up here acting crazy, but I just wanted to let you know because they will probably be talking crazy to you very soon. But I should go now. I need to get Hawk away from here before he says something to one of their asses and then some shit really goes down in here today.”
“Okay, thanks for letting me know. I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up the phone and rushed the shot of Patron sitting in front of me down my throat. I let the burn ease before I said a word to Tania. After all, I was lost for words because this wasn’t the outcome I had expected.
