I nodded, and her tone softened. “Now, start from the beginning.”
“That sexy douchebag,” Mady cursed under her breath, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“It’s not like I expected anything from him,” I said quietly.
“Well, I did,” Mady said defensively, warming my heart. Truthfully, I did, too. I didn’t think he’d suddenly want something serious, but I thought he’d at least come by for his usual coffee. He hadn’t even done that. Maybe it was too awkward now. I was officially a former fling. Maybe that was all I’d ever be. I promised him we’d stay friends, but now I wondered if, yet again, it was something I’d imagined in my head.Fool.
I kicked at some pebbles, watching them scatter into the grass as Mady and I settled in our usual park spot. We’d already found a few stones to write our confessions on. The words, though... hadn’t quite found me yet.
“He’s an idiot, Hazel. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. If he can’t see that, it’s a miracle he’s employed. He’s clearly not that bright.”
A sad laugh escaped me, but my guess was that only time would help. At least that’s what my experience has always been. That was why we were here. To remember and then let go.
“But if that makes you feel better, I could wait for him outside his office and knee him in the ballsack, since you know... You have no need of it anymore.” She casually demonstrated a kneeing motion right into the imaginary groin of justice.
“I appreciate the offer, but let’s leave Luke’s ballsack in peace,” I chuckled, earning a weird look from a passing couple.
I pulled out two black markers and handed her one. I already knew what I’d write on one side. I hadn’t played since Mom died. I wasn’t exceptional, but I loved it—the way my fingers moved over the keys, how the music wrapped around me, filling my ears and warming my soul. I haven’t done that in a while, but Alex and Ava’s engagement inspired me to at least try. For that, I was grateful.
I wrotepianoand flipped the stone over to face the hardest part. I always approached this side with caution. Because we need the rain in our lives, otherwise we’d just take the sun for granted and complain about the glare.
Moments rushed through my mind with force, each one jostling for attention.
Was it still losing my mom? Will it always be the worst thing that has ever happened to me? Every year? Was it that I fell inlove? WithLuke... Was it that IlostLuke?
A deep breath left me, and I felt... exhausted. I wrote a single letterLon it. Whichever it was, I had to let it go.
To survive. To breathe.
Even though the hurt felt suffocating, I knew I’d always cherish the moments. I’d hold on to them for a while, because ashard as it was to admit, I felt happy with the choices I allowed myself to make. For once, I felt alive.
I glanced at Mady, and she gave me a small nod. With a shout, we both hurled our stones into the water, and as they splashed, I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
Happy birthday, Mom.
Mady pulled me into a tight hug, and I squeezed her back. “I love you, girl,” she said, her voice full of warmth.
“I love you too, Mady. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Probably binge-watch some trash TV, while eating questionable gas station sushi.”
We both laughed, and I felt sunshine peeking through the cracks in my heart, chasing my rainy clouds away.
* * *
I returned to O’Riley’s just in time for my shift. Thomas had covered for me for an extra hour, and I promised to return the favor on his next shift.
“I’m taking Linda to see the opera,” he said.
“Opera?! Thomas, you hate opera,” I chuckled at the thought of him in a suit listening to incomprehensible high-pitched Italian.
“That’s true,” he said slowly, lowering his voice, “but Linda loves it, and... I don’t hate Linda.” My cheeks warmed as he described his love for her as “not hate.” My smile gave me away, and his expression shifted. “All right, all right, calm down. Don’t startParent Trappingus yet.” I raised my hands in surrender, choosing to skip the lecture about how he clearly had no idea what the phrase even meant.
Meanwhile, the coffee shop was filling up. We worked side by side for the next hour, with me on the register and Thomas making drinks.
“Double caramel latte with extra foam,” I told Thomas, handing him an order for a girl whose nose ring was clearly infected and who should probably lay off the sugar and caffeine for a bit.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our criminal mastermind Hazel?” I halted, recognizing the voice. I turned and saw Logan towering over the counter, Alex beside him, and Ethan on his phone behind them. My gaze casually scanned the crowd, but he wasn’t here.
