“Hey, bee,” I called out, joking. “Is it just me, or does your organized packing make me look like a total—?”
But the words died in my throat as soon as I turned. She wasn’t smiling. Her lips were pressed into a tight line, her jaw clenched, shoulders drawn up like she was holding back a wave. A storm cloud above her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice dropping.
She didn’t answer right away. Her chest lifted sharply with a breath she hadn’t meant to take. It felt like Hazel was standing in front of me, but she wasn’t there. Not really. Not the way I knew her.
“You told me your company covered the trip. My ticket, the accommodation, the flight, restaurants. Is it true?”
I froze. My mouth opened, but the words tangled before they could make it out. I knew she’d find out eventually, but not tonight. Not like this. Not when we were supposed to hold onto what little time we had left.
“You want to pay me in Monopoly money?” I tried to joke, my voice thin with guilt and nerves. I gave her a crooked smile, hoping for a flicker of forgiveness.
But her face didn’t soften. It stayed cold. Unmoving. And then suddenly it shifted from frustrated to angry, and I knew I’d just made everything worse. I’d never seen her angry. She was always so calm. Soft. Patient. Even when others didn’t deserve it.
“Hazel, I can explain.” I stepped forward, but she backed away. She clearly didn’t want to be near me. I needed to give her space until I explained.
“You lied to me, Luke,” her voice cracked, and it broke me a little. “You said you never lie.”
“I saidrarely.” As soon as I said it, I regretted the words.
“Oh, you got me on a technicality, big boy,” she laughed bitterly in my face, though her stance indicated she was trying to protect herself at any cost. Because of me. I made her feel this way.
“Hazel, back home, when I saw you every day, you...” I paused, doubting whether I should say what I was about to say. “You were tired and exhausted. You deserved a break, and I had the chance to do it.”
Most people loved being seen, being appreciated for their quiet sacrifices, knowing they deserved the recognition. But not Hazel. She gave without expecting anything in return. I just wanted to give her a moment to breathe.
“I didn’t ask you to do it.”
“Well, of course. You’re not capable of asking anything,” I yelled out. “You wait until you’re breaking or someone hurts you.”
She winced at my accusations, and pain stabbed in my chest. I had just become one of the people who hurt her. But it was just a matter of time, wasn’t it?
“Is this like a game to you? You pay for trips so that girls would sleep with you?”
“No, Hazel, no. It was never...” I sighed, exhausted. I felt disgusted with myself because that’s exactly how it might seem to her. “It wasn’t my intention to... I never thought we—”
“Yes, aside from all the flirting you’ve done as long as I’ve known you, your reputation of sleeping around, and you specifically telling me you’d kiss me one day.” I did say that. But I didn’t think it would actually happen.
“I don’t need you to save me,” she snapped, her lip quivering, eyes watery.
“Hazel, listen to me,” I said, softening my tone and stepping closer, my hands extended like I was approaching a wounded animal. “I’m sorry I lied. I really am, but you take care of everyone,everyone, but yourself. Your fucking ex stalks you, you’re killing yourself at work. You need to be able to put yourself first when it’s needed, to ask for things, for help. For anything.”
“Who’d be talking? You run from girl to girl, needing nothing but their bodies. How are you better than me?”
She was hurt, not by what I said, but because it came from me. She trusted me, and I used it. I could see it in her eyes and her bleeding heart all over the floor, seeping into the cracks of this room.
“I’m not better, Hazel. I’m not, but I need you to hear this.” She swallowed and lowered her eyes, not able to look at me. “Jackson, your dad, your mom—”
“My mom?!” Her face twisted in pain. “My sick mom? You have the decency to accuse my sick, dead mom?!”
This was a shitstorm from start to finish. I always spoke plainly and to the point, but I had trouble articulating my thoughts. Emotions were fighting with logic.
“No! What I meant is you deserve so much more than life has given you.”
“From who? You?”Yes. No.But I stayed silent. “Exactly!”
Pain, pain, pain.That’s all I felt. This was exactly what I always tried to avoid.
