Heat radiates from within her, right through her cold skin. She feels the same painful desire as I do, as though everything beneath my skin were on the verge of shattering. I know it. This isn’t about love. We need to be together before we’re both dead, whether Eli likes it or not. We can’t help it, not while we’re linking.
Chapter 26
EVER
Ican’t take it anymore. The pain and urges are too destructive. My limbs ache. My head is splitting in half. And every inch of my body pounds with desire, pulsing and throbbing, so damn heated. But beyond the miserable pain and the needy fire within, new connections stir. Little strings tug between Kelter and me. They tie themselves in knots and tighten. Holes in my heart are stuffed with bits of him and patched, trapping him inside.
Where I was one, I’m now two. I’ve never belonged quite like this, never craved his company to such a degree, even during all the time we spent together in Caldera.
I stand, leaning against the wall and hugging my stomach. I need closeness, even if only with myself. I try to cool my sizzling blood. But it only boils harder.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I say.
Kelter kicks his heel into the wall behind him, the frustration evident in his clenched jaw, his flexed muscles, which have filled out even more over the last couple of days, thickening as fast as he adds inches to his height. “I feel it too.”
“It’s not like this between us.” I slide my rings up and down over my knuckles, noticing I have room for more now. My fingers grew. I must have finally lost my mind. “It’s really not,” I choke out.
Kelter closes in on me, trapping me with his hands on the wall. “You don’t have to be afraid of this.”
I study his familiar freckles, the green and honey warmth in his eyes, now consumed by lust. “This isn’t right.”
“Why can’t it be right? You know me better than anyone. It’s only you and me here. You don’t have to be shy. And you know I won’t hurt you.”
Right, you just ache to kill for the emotional thrill.That’s not his fault, but doesn’t he realize how much he’s already hurt me? I lean to the side, eyeing the doorless entrance. “It’s not only us. And even if it were, I don’t want you like that.”
Kelter presses his body into mine, pinning me against the scratchy animal hides on the cave wall. Brown swallows his hazel eyes as if Eli were pushing through, taking over. The swelling between my legs hits an intolerable point.
“Is it Eli? Is he what’s stopping you?”
I force the back of my head harder against the wall. “It’s you. It’s everything. I don’t understand what’s going on with me.”
“We’re linking, Ever.”
“Linking?” I push him off me. “I don’t even fully understand what that means.”
He sighs as if merely being in my presence were exhausting. “It’s a permanent connection. We’re pulled together in ways we can’t even comprehend.”
“Like fated mates in a book? I’m supposed to fall in love with you now or something?”
“No, it’s not about love. Some links fall for each other, like Coen and Sola, but not all of them. It could be two friends, two men, two women, two anything. Many hook up, especially while first linking, and others keep their links close and turn to friends or lovers for their physical needs. I knew some of this as a kid, but not enough to understand. I had to look back at Eli’s memories for this too. We link so we have someone to help us when the magic we’re born with is activated and becomes our gift. And forever after that. That’s why Half Links don’t have gifts. They lose them when their link dies because we’re not meant to be alone with magic. It throws us out of balance.”
“No. I-I can’t link. This isn’t happening,” I sputter.
“It is. You’re getting taller because you’re going through maturation. And you can’t hurt me because magic doesn’t work against your link. Normally that’s not even a possibility until after maturing and linking, then receiving a gift, but you have your mother’s magic in you.”
I cling to facts, trying to disprove every word of his. “You were already taller when I got here, and I hadn’t grown yet.”
“Everyone matures at their own pace. But you must have felt the start of us linking when I did.”
“When did you know?” I ask.
“I had no idea until I was already here. I felt the pull toward you, like the need for air when I have none. But Zandrite wouldn’t let me leave, so I had to wait for you to come to me. I knew you would, and that Eli would have to let you, because being too far apart while linking is lethal.”
I did feel the start of us linking, the pull, while still in Caldera. But maybe not as strong as he did. “This is all wrong.”
Kelter’s face falls with my response, his words soft. “We’re meant to be together.”
“No, we’re not.” I don’t even know if I’m a Vaile. “I need Eli. Where’s Eli?”
