“He knows. He gets it. If you keep resisting this desire, your body will be torn apart. It needs to have release to complete maturation. This isn’t just a feeling, Ever. It will kill us.” He heaves breath after breath, clearly as affected as I am.
“Like actually kill us?”
“Yes. It’s more than just pain. The imbalance of magic is fatal if you let it go on too long. All we have to do is be together—you know, physically—and we’ll be fine.”
Please stop, you awkward man.“Kelt, I love you.” I rest my hand on his chest, over the new tattoo, and immediately pull it away. Too much longing to show affection. “So much. I do, but I won’t dothat. Not with you.”
He takes my hand back and holds it against his chest, leaving me no choice but to rip it from his grasp. He sighs. “Have you seen it yet?”
“Seen what?”
“Your impression, the markings we get on our chests when linking.”
“I thought those were some sort of Underbroke initiation thing. I don’t—” I pause. I’ve been in these clothes for days. I pinch the collar of my shirt and pull outward, peeking down at my breasts. How did I not feel this happening? Half my chest and ribs are covered in overlapping black circles like his—except all the ones on the perfect line down the middle that are incomplete. The other half of my chest is unmarked.
“It was already starting to show faintly on one side when you got here. I saw when—”
“I haven’t forgotten you took off my shirt.” I press the blue fabric back to my chest and look up at him.
He nods, avoiding eye contact, then stares at my chest with curious hazel eyes. “Can I see it? It’s a special thing between us. We match.”
“No.”We don’t match.
He blinks slowly, burdened and hurt. “Do not make me look elsewhere for release. I mean it. Eli can’t touch you, so let me save you from this, save both of us. Better me than Zandrite. Say yes.”
I drop to a squat and curl up tight, my veins searing my soul as frantic blood pummels through me. “I don’twantto.”
“But youneedto.”
No. With all the things forced upon me, the deaths and the past I had no say in, this I choose. I’m stronger than destiny or fate or whatever nonsense is behind this nightmare. If maturation requires release, it will be Eli that pushes me over the edge. Pain or pleasure, love or hate, rage or lust, he’s the only man I want inside me.
Kelter lowers to my level, squatting in front of me. “Eli says to tell you that this is your choice.”
I wrap my arms tighter around my knees. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“I’m not going to repeat what he actually said, only what he should have said.”
I peek my head out. “You’re talking to him right now?”
“Yes, he’s being a dick, as always.” He throws a hand up. “I’m not saying that, Eli.”
“Now what did he say?”
Kelter wraps a hand around the back of his neck, wincing as he forces the words out. “He says that if he were in this room, he’d have put you out of your misery days ago.”
Thinking of him makes it worse. He can’t even touch me, but I won’t stop him from trying again. “Tell him and his cock to hurry the fuck up.”
Kelter breathes much too heavily in my face, as though taking in the same air as me might relieve the pain of the gap between us.
“I know what you like. I’ve seen.” Kelter tucks a finger under the collarof my shirt and pulls at my bra string. I stiffen at his hot fingertips against my skin. “And I know to watch out for the spillage of stolen goods.”
“Stay out of his memories!” I shove him away despite how my body screams for his touch. No, not his.Anytouch.
Teetering on his feet while crouching, he loses his balance and falls back. “They’re mine too now.” He scoots closer to me again and lifts my face. “And I tried to convince him. I reminded him that he’ll feel what I feel. You have to understand. We’re the same now. Shared mind, shared soul. Two bodies. You’ll be with both of us through all of it.”
“All of what?” I snap. “It’s not happening. You’re not the same.” My whole body shakes. His words strengthen the need, the physical pain at the lack of touch.
“This is going to kill us!” He averts his gaze. “Let me make it better.”
