“Then go get her, and be the asshole I know you are, or you’re screwed.”
I’ll be screwed if I’m not there when it’s time, if onlyhe’sthere with her. “I know.” I leave Milo at the top of the stairs and go after Never, following the beat of her heart. She must be half a mile away by now, but I know right where to go.
It’s hours before dawn, the night air crisp but far from cold, even hot compared to Sonnet. It took me only minutes to catch up to her, passing half a dozen dead bodies in the street on the way. Now, deep into the Calderan forest, I keep my distance, watching her stuff food from a box into her mouth. This realm has taken a turn for the worse. She leaves a trail of dropped pieces behind—all the ones that miss her mouth.
Godsdammit. I can’t keep thinking about her mouth. Or the way she runs her fingers over the tree bark as she passes. And stops to listen to every sound. She put on her own clothes after her bath, and they’re driving me mad—light gray pants and a blue shirt that hug her body a whole lot closer than my clothes did.
She wears a pack from Caldera with long straps that swing at her sides, and even from this far back, I can hear the scrape of metal from the tiny tooth-like closures on it as she walks. But with all the sounds and sights that constantly bombard my mind, all the thoughts from my ancestors, the one thing that hits me hardest is how she reaches for her thigh every minute or so, patting the pocket with my knife inside.
You’re safe, my Never.
I can’t wait for the perfect moment to take her back. She thinks she can run and not be caught? It won’t be easy since I can’t touch her. But that won’t stop me. She’s mine, and she won’t forget it. But I know why she has to go, especially with Kelter unable to leave the Underbroke now that he’s there.
Since the day I realized she wasn’t a Hollow, I’ve dreaded this. It makes me want to lock her up all over again. But I can’t. Not without the distance from him killing her. So I’ll let her run after Kelter all she wants—as long as she’s with me. And he doesn’t touch her.
I speed up, closing the space between us as her heart pounds with such heaviness it weighs me down. Her worry takes over, the hints of regret making it even harder to concentrate. We’re close to the border now, but any number of guards may still be hunting us.
She’s twenty paces away, leaves crunching beneath her step, branches creaking above. Her body quivers, as if a shiver ran down her spine, and she continues on.
The border.
I rush forward, waiting for the pressing sensation, the thickly woven magic separating the realms. I still remember the day the border was made. The Centress at the time asked for volunteers to save all Vaile, to protect them from the dangers of Hollows. They lined up between the two realms with the rest of Sonnet watching and grasped hands. Their sacrifice was to be their magic, creating a border that hid Sonnet from Hollows.
But roots shot out of the dirt at their feet, wrapped around their ankles and pulled them underground. I still hear their screams when I cross realms, the crack of bone. No one dared stray from the Centress after that display. But I’m positive Zandrite was involved. Because those were the unmistakable purple roots of teva from the fields above the Underbroke. And shouldn’t have been anywhere near Caldera.
I push through the border, shaking off the memories… and the snow.
White surrounds me, not only the knee-deep layer I slog through, but swirling through the air in forceful punches. Behind me, Caldera looks the same, endless white where a warm forest was moments ago, the magic of the border in full effect.
And Never is nowhere to be seen, her heart weak. Untraceable.
Chapter 21
EVER
The more I panic, the more snow falls. Cruel realm. I was already a nervous wreck by the time I reached the border, wondering if I'd ever find Kelter and scolding myself for leaving Eli. Maybe he would have come with me—if I'd asked.
Maybe I wouldn’t be facing real death again, alone.
It’s been hours since the snowstorm overcame me after I crossed the border, knocking me down and burying me and my cereal box in layers of ice-cold flurries. The loud whistle of wind screamed in my ears as I blindly crawled my way out then climbed a tree, leaving the box behind. Even with how hard I worked to get up the damn thing, I should be frozen solid by now, my limbs blue and frosty, my lashes iced over and my heart caught midbeat.
Instead, I’m just really fucking cold.
It’s impossible. Or magic. Maybe another broken part of me. Maybe my essence keeps me alive through it. Or maybe I died hours ago, and I simply can’t tell the difference anymore.
But impossible or not, dead or alive, my fingers are numb and red. I rub my hands together and huff a hot breath into my palms. I don’t even feel it. Or my toes.
What if I could actually use this magic inside me? I want to do something more useful than pull magic from plants, like when the roots guided me to the carriage. I grab hold of the branches on either side of me and narrow my focus to the rough ridges on the bark. And I try to connect without pulling. I try to believe. Because if I can bring Eli to his knees with only the touch of my hand, then I can keep myself safe. I canbe fiercer than a storm. Tougher than ice. I can be stronger than the threat of death.
I throw all of myself into the foreign act, finally illuminating the branches around me in a light almost as white as the snow and melting a clump of snow that splashes onto the top of my head in a cold dollop. Success. Sort of. I try again. And again. A storm on the edge of rage.
But the wind roars on, my skin more raw with every fervent gust. I let go, spin my rings and stuff my hands into the slight warmth of my pockets. Paper crinkles. That damn heart of mine jumps with pathetic expectation. Even as I struggle to unfold the paper with my shaking fingers, even as I read the words and soak them up, my mind tells a different story: of course it’s not a note. Eli didn’t write it. He couldn’t have noticed my fresh change of clothes wadded up in a ball for dressing after my bath. He couldn’t have snuck it in while I was testing which cereal was the least stale.
But it is. And he did.
Never,
Giving you a head start doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you when I catch you.
