I had made a thousand sacrifices, and never regretted them. But my heart thrashed inside me now, the gray smut that had lay quiescent under my skin roiling once again. I was so angry, I felt I could tear down the cloud wall with my rage.
This was one sacrifice too far.
How could You ask this, Mother?I prayed.I’ve never said no. I protected everyone You asked me to, gladly. How could this be what it all led to? This pain. This unfixable brokenness.
There was no answer, though I didn’t expect one. Still, I stared at the place where the gate had been and waited, holding in the growing storm of devastation that was building inside me, stronger by the minute.
Sunny and Hope brought Precious and Shadow by, and Truth and his naked octet came and sang for a while. Tradition and some of the other Guides brought soulfire they’d made into éclairs and cream puffs, though I had no appetite at all.
When everyone else but my mates had left, Perception sat with me, humming a song that had my heart feeling lighter for a moment.
“Fuckingstop,” I hissed. I needed the pain, the storm.
I would need it to tear down the barrier between the realms.
Yessssss.I felt the snakes under my skin hiss in reply, growing stronger.Destroy it.
All three of my mates flinched, obviously overhearing my internal voice.Feather, you can’t,Gavriel broke in. I closed down the emotional links between us the best I could. Their concerned thoughts were distracting me from my vigil. My preparation.
I blocked them out, blocked everything out of my mind, my heart, and continued to gather the shadows and pain inside me, forming them into… something. A weapon. A battering ram.
Perception cursed softly, then moved away, pressing an ear against the wall. Listening. His expression changed, growing softer. Brighter.
It was distracting, watching him, and not knowing why he seemed hopeful. What was he hearing? My mental grip on the storm of devastation inside me slipped, and I gasped as it cut me on the inside. Slicing into my soul.
Righteous hissed behind me, while Mikhail and Gavriel both murmured soft words of comfort. Perception slid his gentle gaze to me, compassion etched on every feature. “Don’t despair, Beautiful Sacrifice. Imriel says… Oh!” His face lit up like an unexpected sunrise. “You might want to step back.”
Before he’d even finished the last word, the cloud wall was shaking, as if a stampede was approaching from the other side. Mikhail grabbed me around the waist, launching us into the air, with Gavriel and Righteous on either side. The cloud wall lit up all along the boundary with the Limen, as if it were trying to fall—as if the separation between the realms was ending.
The energy I’d been gathering inside me hissed out and into the void, like a balloon deflating. I didn’t think I had loosed it onto the cloud wall yet, but the thundering stampede was so close now, the air around us vibrated with the mysterious force.
Had I done this? Had I somehow broken the realms?
As if in answer, a tall, rectangular window of light appeared in front of us, and a burst of music sailed through. It sounded like a thousand… kazoos? All rejoicing. Then voices joined in with a melody so sweet, I could almost taste it.
What song was this, and who was it for?
For you, sweet soul,Mikhail thought.This is what an answered prayer sounds like. This is the hymn my heart sangwhen I placed my feather in your nape. When you returned to me here.
The Song of Grace,Gavriel agreed, his light wings extending to the farthest sides of the Limen as he smiled at the wall.He comes.
Perception bowed to us and to the wall, then flew off just as a tall figure stepped through the open window. A tall, horned, winged figure, with a long, golden tail.
“Why are you crying?” the glowing, golden Angelus sang as he walked toward us.
Mikhail descended, still holding me, with Righteous and Gavriel at our sides. I blinked, realizing burning tears were racing down my cheeks.
“R-Rumple?” I gasped as he came closer. His eyes were hypnotizing me. They were swirling galaxies again, but now of golden fire. “Is it you? Do you remember me?”
Mikhail stepped back, and I trembled as vast, crystalline wings flared out on both sides of the Angelus who was now only a few steps away. He kneeled down and wrapped those wings around me gently, enfolding me in light and song.
“I’m so sorry, little one. I didn’t know you, when I saw you,” he said gently. “I went home again. It was glorious. Except it wasn’t home anymore. I didn’t know why, until my Mother gave me the gift.” One hand cupped my face, and his eyes told me everything I needed to know.
Thiswasmy Rumple. My first love and teacher, the one who had remade me again and again, who loved me more deeply than even I’d realized. Enough to sacrifice everything he had been, and his birthright.
I was too afraid to smile, but I tried. “Did you get a dildo, too?”
His laughter made clouds of golden light burst around us like fireworks. “No, imp. I got my memories back. And when I did, Iknew I had to find the rest of myself.” His lips landed on mine, and I was plunged into bliss.
