Moon chuckled. “Don’t listen to him. I’m actually a terror, and he’s the one who makes things less scary.”
“Yeah, but you’remyterror.” I grinned at him before turning my attention back to Mom and Dad’s gravestone. “I’m gonna marry him one day, you know. I think, this time, it’ll be forever, too. Olivia and I just weren’t meant to be like that.”
I looked up at the sky, watching as a flock of birds flew overhead. “You know, I thought I’d be a sobbing mess when we got here. You guys have watched me cry every single time.” I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the wind as it coasted through the leaves. For once, I could barely hear the ringing in my ears. All I heard was Harrison’s laughter through the halls of our old house. Mom singing while she cooked dinner. Dad yawning really fucking loud because, for some reason, he couldn’t yawn any other way. “I don’t think I need to cry, though. Not this time. I think I finally get it now.” I looked at their gravestones as the weight slowly started to disappear. “Acceptance. The one stage I haven’t gotten to, yet. I keep going back and forth between denial and depression, but I haven’t once fully accepted it. I accepted that there was nothing I could’ve done for Harrison. I accepted that his path was his to take, and it wasn’t my fault. I accepted that Mom and Dad’s accident was just an accident, and that our lives would be different without them. But I never accepted that you guys were dead. I never fully grasped the idea that you were never coming back, no matter how much I missed you.”
Moon rubbed my back in slow, soothing circles. I let the blade of grass I’d been holding fall to the ground and didn’t pick up another one. “You guys are dead. I’m allowed to miss you. I’m going to hurt from time to time, but you’re gone. I can still come see you and talk to you. I can keep your trophies and knick-knacks and photos on my dresser, but none of that will change that you’re gone. The ringing in my ears may never go away, andI can accept that. I can accept that there is nothing else for me to do except love you guys, cope the best I can, and honor you in any way possible. Honoring you, loving you, and still hoping you’ll come back is different, though. And I don’t think I’ve fully understood that until now.”
The wind picked up just as clouds started to circulate. I watched as they passed by in the distance. The clouds were out, yet the sky was still beautiful. Mom, Dad, and Harrison were dead, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be in my heart. Grief wouldn’t shrink, but it could become more tolerable. I could hold two truths while still holding onto reality.
Putting my arm around Moon, I watched as the world kept moving. “I guess Chris really knows what he’s talking about.”
“I think he does.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Em.”
Acceptance and hope seemed to go hand-in-hand with each other. With acceptance, new hope could grow. True hope, not the false kind that I had to convince myself existed. Hope had brought me Moon. Hope had kept me going through the years. Hope had finally brought me peace.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
My cock was so hard,I truly started to think I’d explode—and not in a fun way. Daddy wouldn’t stop teasing me, kissing and licking and gently nipping my skin, biting a trail from the crook of my neck all the way down to below my belly button. The one place he hadn’t touched yet? Was my cock. He was driving me fucking wild.
I sat on the edge of the bed, facing the door, while Daddy kneeled on the floor between my legs. I still couldn’t stand the thought of him—of anyone—being above me, so this was our compromise for the absolute torture he was putting me through. He could still reach everywhere he needed to, and I still couldn’t do a damn thing about it because my hands were bound behind my back.
I whined as I strained against the handcuffs, twisting my wrists in them as Daddy turned his attention back to the barbells in my nipples. My breaths came out quick and shallow as he flicked the balls with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth with a sinful groan. “Daddy, please.”
He pulled away, a smirk on his lips. “What is it, baby? Do you need to come?”
“Yes, oh my god, please. Please.”
“Aww,” He rubbed his hands along my inner thighs, putting on a fake frown. “It must hurt, huh? Your cock is so fucking hard for me. Leaking so beautifully for Daddy. I almost feel bad for you.”
I wasn’t sure what it was about him that turned me into such a mess, but I fucking loved it. I was a mess for him, and I’d be damned if I wasn’t proud of it. “You should feel bad for me. I’m dying, Daddy. I need to come so bad. I might combust if I don’t.”
“Combust? It must be really serious, then.”
“It is! Please, I can’t do it any longer.”
He leaned in closer, whispering right against my ear. “You’ve been such a good boy for me, brat.” He nibbled the shell of my ear, running his hands up my outer thighs to grab my hips. “If you can hold it for a little bit longer, I’ll let you come in any way you want to.”
A shiver raced down my spine as my eyes fluttered closed. “Any way I want to?”
“That’s right. You get to decide.”
It was almost too much power. Didn’t he know not to give a brat that much freedom? There’d been one thing on my mind for a while, something I’d been eager yet nervous to ask for. My voice squeaked as I said it, embarrassment slowly creeping in. “I want to fuck you, Daddy. Can I do that?”
Daddy pulled back, looking at me with one of his eyebrows raised. “You want to fuck me?”
My hands were occupied, so I couldn’t even fidget with them properly. “I do. But if you’re not okay with it, then that’s fine, too.”
“My brat wants to fuck his Daddy?”
I nodded eagerly.
“Then my brat will get to fuck his Daddy.” He wrapped his hand around my cock, squeezing the base gently. “Ifyou can last long enough to get there.”
Biting my lip, I tried to hold back my moans. He was finally touching me, and I was so fucking close, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. But I was going to try. I was going to try really fucking hard because, yeah, I really wanted to fuck him. I wanted to look down at our bodies and see my cock going inside of him. I wanted to mark him from the inside, just as he’d marked me. I could do this. I could get through a really hot and overwhelming hand job from him if it meant I got to watch his face as I thrusted into him for the first time.
What I wasn’t prepared for was how he scooted back and leaned down, wrapping his lips around the head of my dick. I gasped, trying to grip onto something for dear life with my hands before realizing I couldn’t. They were still locked in Daddy’s handcuffs, keeping me right where he wanted me.
Every inch he took was a fight for my life. His mouth was so hot and tight as he hollowed his cheeks, his tongue swiping against the underside of my cock. I arched my back, which only pushed me further into his mouth. When he moaned, I could feel it. I could feel the vibrations. And when he started rubbing my balls with one of his hands, I almost screamed.
