Star was the glue of the hug, pulling me closer, making Elio and Crescent come closer as well. Her voice was muffled in my shirt, but I understood every word. “Now we get to love and protect you, big brother. You just have to let us. Please, please let us. We love you so much.”
Tears finally started to fall as I slowly lost the fight against them.
Elio’s voice cracked as he spoke. “Thank you for fighting for me and for saving me from them.”
Crescent cried through his words right along with me. “Thank you for always trying to keep me safe. You’ve always been there, even when I didn’t want you to be. Thank you for making sure Jude and Sarah didn’t steal my Sunshine away.”
The metal bar that’d cracked slowly tumbled, falling to pieces. With it, another one broke off. Then another, and another, as, finally, after so many years of keeping that distance, of existing behind that isolating, cold cell around my heart, there was no cage anymore.
It was gone. And I could feeleverything.
I was proud because I’d defended my brother. I was so full of love, not only for my siblings, but for my parents and for Emerson, too. I was excited because there was a future waiting for me. I’d never seen it before, but I couldn’t fucking wait to get to it. I was happy. Relieved. Weightless. I was shining, and the light I was shining with wasn’t because of Emerson. My light had never been dependent on Emerson giving it to me.
Like a beautiful piece of stained glass, my siblings were my rays of sun, I was the art, and together we were ethereal.
All I’d ever needed, all I’d ever wanted, was their approval. The evidence that I had done a good job. That I hadn’t failed. That I had made a difference after all the effort I’d put into doing so. I, Moon Miller, loved my siblings more than life itself. Now, I could find peace in the fact that I could lovethemwhole. Not just in pieces. Not with constant worry or anxiety that kept me distracted from the bond we were all meant to share.
My knees gave out as I sobbed. Instead of pulling away, Crescent, Star, and Elio all fell with me to the floor. I let Star go, bringing my hands to my face as they all wrapped their arms around me. We cried together for a while, none of us quiet about it. It felt like some sort of bridge between us had been gapped. A bridge we hadn’t noticed before.
When we settled into soft sniffles instead of full sobs, Star was the first to pull away. She smiled as she looked at me—the same smile I’d missed for so long. “I accept your apology, Moony Poony. I get it now. The next time you’re worried, just talk it out with me, okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Yeah, okay. I can do that.”
Crescent pulled away next, brushing his hand through his long, tangled hair. “I know we shit on each other a lot. But I really do think Emerson is good for you. I like him, and I like that both of you have been going to therapy. I think, sometimes, we just need a little push. Elio was my push. Emerson seems to be yours.”
“That, I also agree on.” Elio leaned back on his hands, his eyes rimmed red. “Crescent was the most unexpected push for me. We’d been friends for so long, I never expected to fall in love with him. But I think when you’re in love, it’s easier to find a reason to better yourself. It’s hard seeing anything good wheneverything feels bad. All it takes is that one piece of good, and suddenly, you realize just how nice it is and want more of it.”
Star frowned. “I hope I find my good one day. It’ll probably be after I graduate, though. I don’t have time to date.”
But you have time to party?is what I would’ve said at any other time than this, but I held myself back. “You have plenty of time. And when that time comes, you’ll see this big, radiant, glowing light coming from them, and you’ll just know. You’ll know it’s them, even if you fight it for a while.”
She tilted her head. “Is that what Emerson is for you? A bright light?”
I smiled, wondering for a moment about just how overwhelming it’ll be to feel the love I have for Emerson without the cage. “The brightest.”
The moment Daddywalked through the door and took his vest and belt off, I rushed toward him, wrapping my arms around him as tight as possible. “Daddy.”
He stumbled for a second with the force of my surprise attack before wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. “Well, hello, brat. This is a very nice way of greeting me. Much better than how you used to, anyway. But I have to say, I’m a lot less sturdy than I used to be, so uh, let’s try not to knock me over, hm?”
I didn’t pay any mind to what he was saying. I breathed him in, letting my heart thump so hard, so fast, I was certain I’d have a heart attack. Closing my eyes, I snuggled my face deep into his chest and sighed. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Oh, baby. You know I love you, too. Look at me.” He grabbed my face, making me look at him. “I love you so, so very much. Did everything go okay with your siblings?”
“It went perfect. Way better than I imagined.”
His grin was tired after his long shift, but he still beamed at me. “Thank god. I knew it would. Come on, let’s go find something to eat, and then I’ll take a shower.”
Later that night, after we’d slid beneath the blankets together, Daddy held me close and kissed me gently as he fell asleep. I lay there, listening to his heartbeat as I remembered the first promise he’d ever made to me.
The first night I met Emerson Blake, it’d been one of the worst nights of my life. He’d promised me, without even knowing me, that I was gonna be okay. Letting myself truly feel how much I loved him, I realized that he was right. He’d kept his promise.
I was gonna be okay, and he was gonna stay right by my side.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The ringing was soloud in my ears, I had contemplated banging my head against the wall to get it to stop. I knew that wouldn’t help, since it was unlikely my tinnitus would ever stop completely, but I still thought about it. The idea was nice.
My entire body felt like it was being weighed down by a five-ton stack of bricks as I walked through my front door. I could hardly see past the dark shadow that’d pulled itself down over my eyes, keeping me from truly seeing the world as it stood. The only bright part was how Moon came up to me with a big grin on his face, his arms open wide to accept me in what I knew would be a soul-healing hug.
