“Shh, it’s okay.” I looked around, trying to find something to clean up with. The closest thing I could find was a towel.
I grabbed it and gently plucked the blade from his outstretched hand while he cried. I threw it on top of the counter in a rush and placed the towel over his thigh, gently pressing so it’d soak as much blood as possible. He struggled a little, whimpering, as I applied pressure. “I need to see how bad it is, Moon. I just need to see if you need help, okay? I’ve got you. I’m here.”
I wasn’t even sure what I was saying anymore. I was just talking. Rambling. Too relieved that he wasaliveto care what I was saying. When I pulled the towel away, I looked over every fresh wound on his skin.
None of them were very deep, and none of them needed stitches. “Okay, you’re okay. Hold on. Let me run the bath, okay? We need to get you cleaned up.”
As soon as I stood, he reached up for me. “No! Don’t leave. Don’t leave me. Please.”
“I’m not leaving you, Moon. Look, I’m just running the bath. See?” I kept eye contact with him as I slowly leaned toward the tub and switched the tap on. I blindly threw myhand underneath, checking the temperature before I plugged the drain.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, shh. It’s okay.” I let the tub fill as I sat back on the ground. I needed to hold him. I needed to feel him living and breathing against me. I needed to feel that his skin was warm.
I needed to time his heartbeat and make sure he was alive. I needed to somehow convince myself that he wasn’t on the brink of death. I needed to stay calm. Calm.
Calm.
Calm.
Calm.
How could I stay fucking calm when I was sitting in his blood? I spread my legs and pulled his back against me, situating him between them. Wrapping my arms around his middle, I placed a kiss against the back of his head while he cried. “I’ve got you. I’m here now. Everything is going to be okay. I’m right here.”
Hearing him cry was breaking my heart. But I could feel him breathe, and he was warm. So fucking warm. “Why, Moon? Why? Why pull away like this?”
He leaned his head against me, seemingly losing some of his steam. He cried, but it was softer. “It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”
“What’s your fault?”
“I couldn’t protect them.”
His siblings. “You’ve done just fine, my brat. You’ve done just fine. They’re perfectly safe.”
He shook his head wildly. “No! No, Elio got hurt. He was being hurt, and I wasn’t there. I didn’t notice. I should’ve noticed.”
“Oh, Moon.” My voice cracked, listening to the anguish in his. “There’s no way you could’ve known. It isn’t your fault.”
Moon didn’t say anything, but he kept shaking his head. I pressed another kiss to his hair before whispering to him. “Hold on, let me get the water.”
I waited until he’d fully supported himself to get back up. I turned the water off, checking the temperature of it one more time.
When I turned to look back at Moon, he was still sniffling, and tears were still falling down his face, but he wasn’t hunched over anymore. “Do you want some help to get in?”
He shook his head.
“I’m not leaving you by yourself in here, so if you want to stay in your clothes, that’s fine. But I’m not leaving.”
He shook his head again.
“Okay. Let me help you up at least.” I bent down just enough to wrap his arm around my shoulders and act as a support for him to stand up. He was a bit wobbly, wincing in pain as he stood on his leg, but he was able to balance just fine.
I turned to give him a bit of privacy as he reached for his shirt, deciding to undress after all. He didn’t have any trouble getting into the bath, fully submerging up to his stomach. I tried not to flinch as the bath water slowly started to turn red. “Just soak here for a minute, okay? I’ll clean the floor up, and then we’ll get you into bed.”
He sniffled. “Wait.”
“Yeah?”
