They returned to lying on their back. “I know.”
Silence descended; the rest of the people who shared our berth were asleep or on shift. Cencay moved above me, their sheets rustling every few minutes. I tried to sleep, for I was on duty early in the day, but it wouldn’t come. Instead, Monqilcolnen’s smile played through my thoughts, stealing my breath and making my soul pound.
Why him?
It made no logical sense. I wasn’t the kind of person who had long-term relationships or courted. I preferred fuck friends, which I had many of—some even on this ship. I could ping any one of them and ask for a rendezvous to take away this pressing ache, but I didn’t want them. I wanted Monqilcolnen. Though it wasn’t for a short fuck; I wanted him for longer, which was utterly terrifying. I wanted to know him. I wanted to make him smile. I wanted to see what lay behind that mask when I peeled it away.
In short, I wanted to court him, which was a first for me.
I threw back the sheet and tugged on some clothes before slipping out of the room. My feet led me down the familiar corridors with the blue moss floor and the blooming vines. I stuck out my hand to trail along some of the plants as I walked by, seeking some kind of solace from them. I didn’t know whereI was going or what I was doing, but this energy in my limbs wouldn’t abate until I did something about it.
A door appeared in front of me, and I jerked to a stop. Monqilcolnen’s quarters. He had yet to take me off his account. Nothing was stopping me from slipping inside and joining him in bed. I closed my eyes and easily pictured me sliding next to him in the bed, the blanket covering me, and coiling my arms around his waist. He’d turn and… A breathless moan burst out of me at the thought of him returning my embrace before forcing me to my back and claiming me.
Permissions could be discussed and then fucking could happen. All I had to do was open the door and step inside. A single door stopped me from what I wanted. Well, that, and the knowledge that forcing myself on Monqilcolnen was wrong. I had no true knowledge of his desires, and they might not extend to me.
Dragging my claws down his door, I took a deep breath and forced myself to leave. If I was going to attempt to further my interest in him, it would have to happen when we were both awake and cognizant of any conversation that happened.
Instead of acting on my raging instincts, I walked down the corridor to Seth and Kalvoxrencol’s room. The hour was late, so most likely they would both be asleep, but I doubted Seth would mind me waking him. When I reached his door, I pulled out my touchstone. The pulsing blue stone was slightly warm, even though it was currently inactive.
“Edith,” I said, though I was fairly certain she’d tapped into all of the systems by now.
“Yes, Wyn?”
“Is Seth awake?”
“Yes. Prince Kalvoxrencol and Bob are asleep, but he’s awake. Why?”
I didn’t answer her. “Will you let him know I’m outside?”
“Of course. What’s going on?”
I scrubbed my claws through my hair. I hadn’t bothered to braid it before leaving my quarters, so the long strands hung around me. “I’m struggling.”
Her voice took on a soft note. “Oh, Wyn, can I help?”
“I would enjoy speaking to you and Seth, though I very much doubt that either of you can assist me.” A random thought popped into my head. “Is Urgg awake?”
“Yes. They’re in their bakery.”
“Would you tell them Seth and I are on the way? We’ll all talk there.” Urgg wouldn’t be upset with me commandeering their baking time.
“Of course, Wyn.” She made a low noise before saying, “I hope you know I treasure your friendship.”
A sudden burn prickled the back of my eyes. “I do know that.”
“I might seem more invested in Seth and his child, but that’s not true. You and Seth are both equally important and equally dear to me.”
“Thank you, Edith. You are very important to me.”
The door slid open and ended our conversation. Seth asked, “What’s going on?”
Chapter 19
The truth in the darkness.
“I knew it,” Urgg shouted, making Seth leap.
We were all sitting at a table in Urgg’s bakery. They had provided fresh cookies filled with vugagg insects that provided a lovely crunch and spiciness to the sweet, buttery cookie.
