He grinned, tugging me up so he could slot his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and unhurried, but it was oh so perfect. Wyn was mine. As incredible as that seemed, it was finally true. All of the waiting had come to fruition as I’d hoped.
Quicker than I would have liked, he pulled back. “You need to eat, and your cousins want to see you.”
I looked away, but Wyn gently nudged me back so our eyes met. Silence pressed over us as we simply stared into each other’s eyes.
“Talk to me,” he whispered.
“I wish to see them, badly, and yet…”
Wyn didn’t press me. The swirling emotions I had were near impossible to articulate. I wanted to see my cousins because they were my family, my friends, and my home, but some part of me felt guilty for some reason, as if I was attempting to replace my parents. I wasn’t. The emotion wasn’t logical, but still, it persisted.
“I feel like I am dishonoring my parents,” I finally said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m seeking comfort from my cousins. Because I am seeking them and not my parents.” I shook my head. “It makesno sense, but I feel so guilty. I should be more broken because of their demise. I shouldn’t be trying to rebuild my life without them.”
Wyn kissed away a tear that had escaped my control. “I cannot claim to understand what you are going through, and I won’t say I know what you should or should not do, Monqilcolnen. But rebuilding your life is just a part of… life. People come and go. Everyone you meet changes and impacts you, from small to large ways. Every day we are changing and growing and rebuilding.
“Sadly, this is how it is meant to be. We are not static. Life continues on. Grief and pain are the cost of this life whether you try to shield yourself from them or not.” He kissed another tear. “Your parents were always meant to go before you.” Wyn lapped at my freely falling tears. “It is the way of life.
“And while I cannot claim to know them as well as you did, I did know them and love them. Jemtonkilsol and Dilvonsil loved you so dearly. That was evident in every conversation, in every related memory, in every breath I witnessed. You were their soul, Star. I cannot imagine them wanting you to cling so hard to their memory that you would follow them before your time.”
He was right, but the guilt remained. If I forged forward without them, I would be leaving them behind. How did I live with that?
Wyn continued to lick my tears while interspersing gentle kisses. “You have to step forward. The past cannot be reclaimed, except in our memories. Let them go.”
My head collapsed to his chest, and I sobbed.
“Oh, my Star, they will always be with you. But you need to hold close to your cousins and me. We will be right here. I promise.”
But they were not the hands that had guided my life. My parents, my beginning, my foundation, were gone, and I foundthe ground on which I stood was now rather shaky without their constant support. “I don’t know how.”
His fingers tangled in my hair. “With time and by taking one step at a time.”
“The ground beneath my feet has vanished.”
He tilted my chin up, brushing my tears away. “Then it’s lucky you have wings.”
I couldn’t find the humor.
Wyn pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “I know everything seems murky around you and that you have no stability, but you do.” He pulled away from me, and I whined, clutching onto him. He kissed me again before shifting me so he could grab the clothes I’d ripped off him. “You are my mate, my breath, my soul, my everything, Monqilcolnen. I will guard you, but more than that, I trust you to shield me.”
More tears built in my eyes as I recognized the tradition.
From the pile of clothes, Wyn removed a gold bracer that looked identical to the one from our experience. In the center, his scales shone. He lifted my left arm and slowly slid it onto me. Unable to hold back, tears slid down my cheeks as I sobbed. No matter where I went, Wyn would be with me.
“I’ll be your stability, Star. A part of me will always be with you.” Wyn cupped my face. “I’m not trying to replace your parents, but allow me the honor of caring for you in their place.”
Sobs wracked my body and I dropped my face into my mate’s chest, but I held him close. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you. Anything.”
I held onto Monqilcolnen as he wept. I wouldn’t rush him, but I needed him to live, to want to live, and I wasn’t alone inthat need. It was hard for me to imagine what he was feeling. Families had always been something of a mystery to me. When I was a child, I had been the sole drakcol in the orphanage. Yes, my caretakers had been drakcol, but they were not my parents. I had cared about them, and they me, but it wasn’t the same type of bond that Monqilcolnen shared with his family.
I had seen other children adopted and go on to forge those bonds with their new families, but no one had come for me. As a whole, drakcol didn’t have many children, and therefore, had very few in need of adoption. It was a rarity in our society. That, plus my wing malformation, hadn’t made me an ideal candidate.
All my life I had watched people and their families, longing to be a part of one, and now, I got to see the price. To love someone so completely, to rely on someone so wholly, was dangerous when that person was no longer there.
