Josh looks at me with a sad, understanding expression. “I didn’t know, man. But I get it now. Cohen and Kenna—they’re a team. They’ve been a team this whole time.”
“Yeah, and I was just a ghost to them,” I mutter. “Some story Kenna probably avoided telling him until she had no choice.”
Reuben’s head snaps up. “Don’t do that.”
His voice is sharp. Sharper than I’ve ever heard it, and it stops me in my tracks.
“Don’t you dare stand here and act like Kenna kept your son from you,” he says, standing. “She never lied to Cohen about who his father is. Not once. She’s never pretended you didn’t exist. He knows.”
“Knows what?” I ask, stunned.
“He knows about you, Cole,” Asher jumps in, his voice tight. “He knows his dad had to go away.”
My throat tightens, and my heart feels like it’s splitting open in my chest.
“Kenna didn’t feed him lies,” Reuben adds, quieter now, but no less firm. “She protected him. She told him enough to help him understand. What she never did, though, was badmouth you. Never. Not even when it would’ve been easier.”
I shake my head slowly, overwhelmed. “But I thought she kept me from him. I thought…”
“You thought wrong,” Asher cuts in. “You’re the one assuming she never talked about you to him. She’s been carrying the weight for both of you. Raising that boy with your name in his prayers every damn night.”
Reuben steps forward now. “You know what he told me just a few months ago? He said he wished his dad could see the sciencefair project he had built. He said, ‘Uncle Reuben, do you think if my dad was here, he’d be proud of me?’”
That breaks me.
It breaks something inside me I didn’t even know was still intact.
I picture him standing in a school gymnasium, maybe holding a posting board with crooked lettering and a half-finished volcano project. His eyes scanning the crowd, hoping to see someone he’s never met but still believes in.
It shatters whatever armor I thought I had left. I sink onto the stool, my hands shaking.
“He wants you, Cole,” Reuben says, his tone softening. “He wanted you this whole time. So don’t you dare twist this into some story where Kenna hid you from him. That girl did everything in her power to ensure that boy knew he was loved. Bybothof his parents.”
“You still have a choice,” Reuben says, leaning against the bar. “You can keep spiraling about the time you missed…or you can show up for the time you’ve still got.”
That lands hard. Harder than I’m ready for. Maybe that’s the point. I don’t get to be ready. I just have to be there.
I feel my heart shatter a little bit at the thought of them doing it alone.
I take another breath. “I need to go home. I can’t be here right now.”
Reuben doesn’t argue. Instead, he stands and pats me on the back. “You want to crash at my place tonight? You’re not ready to go home, are you?”
I don’t answer right away, but I know the answer. I can’t go home, not yet. Not with this weight on me. I feel like a stranger in my life.
“Yeah,” I mumble. “I can’t go home right now.”
The drive to Reuben’s place is a blur, but I can feel the tension in the air. Neither of us says much, but I know we’re both thinking about the same thing. Cohen.
“I’m sorry, man,” Reuben says as we turn onto his street. “But I’m glad Kenna was the one who told you, you needed to know.”
“I don’t know what to do with all this,” I say, my voice tight. “I’m supposed to be a father. How can I be a father when I’ve missed everything?”
Reuben doesn’t have an answer, but he doesn’t need to. He pulls into his driveway, and I see the toys scattered around his living room. Little plastic trucks, action figures, and books—things that belong to Cohen.
I freeze. This is his life. This is what I’ve missed.
Reuben looks at me, his face softening. “Cohen’s been staying here a lot lately. Kenna’s been trying to figure out where things stand, and Cohen’s been here a couple of days while she spends time with you.”
