It’s Friday,and the day feels like it’s been dragging on for an eternity. My mind keeps wandering, thinking about everything I’ve got to do this weekend, but mostly, I can’t stop thinking about Kenna. She’s always on my mind. But today, it’s different. I feel anticipation that I can’t shake.
It’s like something is building. An unnamed pressure sitting at the edge of my chest. I can’t explain it, but it’s there, making every tick of the clock feel like an eternity.
Finally, the bell rings, signaling the end of the school day. Chatter fills the halls, and people rush to leave, but Jackson is already waiting by my locker with that goofy grin. His excitement is palpable, the energy that only a Friday night can bring.
“Dude, are you coming to the party tonight?” Jackson asks, clapping me on the back so hard I almost lose my balance.
I laugh, shaking my head. “I guess.”
“Well, there’s a party at Brandon’s place tonight. Everyone’s going, man. It’s gonna be wild.”
I nod absently, still thinking about Kenna. I told her I’d be going to the party, and when I asked if she wanted to come, she declined. She promised her sisters they’d have a girls’ night, and Iget it. She always puts her family first. But I can’t help but feel a little bummed. I wanted her to be with me tonight.
I pull out my phone and shoot her a quick text
Me
You sure you don’t want to come? It’s just a party, nothing crazy.
She replies almost immediately.
Sunshine
I’m good, just gonna hang with the girls. Have fun!
I smile at the screen, but my stomach sinks a little. I wanted her to say yes. I wanted her to be with me tonight. But I know she has her reasons. She always does.
Still, there’s this tightness in my chest. I know she’s not mad. I know it’s not all about me. A sense of unease tells me tonight won’t play out according to my expectations.
Jackson’s already halfway out the door, calling for me to hurry. “Come on, man, let’s go!”
I shove my phone in my pocket, trying to push the thoughts of Kenna to the back of my mind. It’s not like I’m going to sit here and mope about it. I’ve got a party to go to, and I’m going to have fun.
The drive to the party is quick. Jackson’s talking non-stop about the beer he’s planning on bringing, about the people who’ll be there, and about how it’s gonna be the biggest party of the year. I can’t help but feel a little caught up in his excitement.
Underneath it all, there’s this low hum of anxiety buzzing in the back of my mind. Like I’m not supposed to be going. Like I should stay with her instead.
When we pull up to Brandon’s place, the music is already blaring from the open windows, and a crowd is spilling out onto the front lawn. People are laughing, dancing, and already tipsyfrom whatever they’ve been drinking. The atmosphere is chaotic in the best way.
We go inside, and the place is packed. The lights are dim, the music thumping in my chest, and people are everywhere—drinks in hand, laughing, shouting, making plans for the rest of the night. Jackson immediately disappears into the crowd, and I’m left standing near the kitchen, a beer in hand, trying to take everything in.
The music thumps so loudly I can feel it in my chest. The air is thick with the smell of sweat, spilled drinks, and the faint odor of weed. I don’t mind it, though. I’m here, and my friends are having a good time, so I guess I should be, too. But all I can do is half-heartedly nod along as someone hands me another drink. It’s not that I’m not trying to have fun; it’s just that Kenna’s on my mind, and I can’t shake the thought of her.
It’s only a few hours into the party, but I already feel like I’m losing myself a little bit. I keep catching glimpses of couples making out in corners, friends laughing, the kind of moments that used to mean something to me. But instead of feeling carefree, all I can think about is how I’d rather be with Kenna.
I’m standing with a drink in my hand when Reuben, Kenna’s older brother, walks up to me. He’s looking a little out of place here too, like he’s just here to keep an eye on me, or maybe just checking in, I don’t know.
“Yo, Cole,” he says, giving me a quick nod as he leans in. “You look a little lost, man.”
I shrug, trying to seem casual, but I know he can read me too well. Reuben’s always been the kind of guy who notices everything.
“You know what’s up?” he says, his voice quieter now, more serious. “Kenna’s been asking about you all night.”
My stomach drops. The thought of her sitting at home, missing me, hits harder than it should. The weight makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong by even being here. I try to brush it off, but it’s like a wave crashingover me.
“She’s been saying she misses you, man. It’s not the same without you,” he continues, his eyes narrowing as if he’s gauging my reaction. “I told her I’d let you know. She’s hoping you’ll text her.”
I can’t help but feel a sting in my chest. The thought of Kenna sitting there, waiting for me, when I’m out here pretending to enjoy myself—it doesn’t sit right. She’s always been my Sunshine, and now here I am, getting lost in the noise, acting like it doesn’t matter that I’m not with her. But it matters. It matters more than anything else.
