Her pulse fluttered beneath his thumb where it rested against her wrist, a rapid rhythm that matched his own. “I want to…”
To what? Lie to her about a future that could never be? Tell her the truth about feelings he could never back up with actions?
“…to thank you. For tonight. For showing me this place.”
She raised her chin and gave him a level, appraising look, much the same as she had that first day. “I wanted to,” she stated flatly. No emotion. No hidden agenda. The simple truth.
Shamed, he sighed and tugged her closer. “I won’t pretend I want to be anywhere but where you are.” He kissed her forehead before reluctantly pulling back. “But we both know tonight changes nothing. Regardless of what either of us want, by your own words your loyalty lies with your father. And mine belongs to Emily.”
The look on her face was so sad it twisted his heart, leaving a scar he knew wouldn’t heal. As long as he lived, he’d never forget how she looked in that moment.
“I suppose that’s as it should be,” she finally muttered, clearly fighting for some semblance of a smile. “Fairy tales like thisbelong in books where we can pull them out, indulge in the fantasy, and then put them back before anyone gets hurt.”
Before Noah could find the words to respond, she gently pulled her hand from his. The loss of her warmth was both immediate and jarring.
“Come,” she said, turning toward the staircase. “As you stated, we should hurry.”
“Skye, wait—” But she was already descending, her steps quick and sure on the worn stones.
Noah followed, ignoring the chill of the night seeping deeper into his bones with each step down the spiral staircase. The deep, penetrating cold of the stones seemed almost more chilling than the wind atop the battlements.
Or was it the loss of what might have been that chilled him from the inside?
After traveling the winding corridors, his fingers were stiff from the frigid air and his soul felt as empty as the abandoned bartizan above.
At his chamber door, Skye paused, her face in shadow. Only the curve of her cheek was visible in the dim torchlight. “I do not know what my father has planned for tomorrow,” she stated, her voice carefully empty of emotion. “But I will do my best to see to any needs you might have, along with final preparation of the chambers for Emily and your family. I’ve already sent for both of our healers. I wanted them to be available when she arrives.” She stepped back into full shadow. “Rest well, Noah.”
Then she was gone, swallowed by the darkness and the twisting corridor. He waited as the soft pad of her retreating footsteps faded before he closed the door and leaned against it, cursing himself for pushing too hard, too fast. He’d revealed too much about his feelings for her. Muddied them with talk of duty and loyalties. He’d questioned too much about her father. Pressed too hard about the portals.
The seed of doubt about the portals had been there in her eyes, he’d seen it. She’d questioned the items her father brought home, whether she admitted it to herself before tonight or not. But her duty, her loyalty, overrode any doubts she had. How could he blame her? Didn’t he feel the same about his own family?
He could no longer hope for any help from Skye regarding the portals. Finding them, saving Emily was his alone to achieve.
He moved to the window, rested his forehead against the cool pane and stared out at the mountains silhouetted against the night sky while the frost at the edges of the pane mixed with the tiny crystalline pattern forming from his warm breath.
Somewhere out there, Taran and Finn would have rushed preparations for their return trip and were probably well on their way back with Emily. Each passing hour brought them closer to the fortress. To the moment of truth.
To saving Emily, or…not.
Time was running out. And now, thanks to his bumbling actions this evening, so was Skye’s willingness to help him.
The bitter irony twisted in his gut. In his desperation to save his beloved sister, he’d driven away the one person who might help him do it. The same person who’d slipped past his defenses and stolen his heart.
His fingers traced the frost patterns on the glass, following their meandering paths as if they might lead him to a solution. But they melted beneath his touch, leaving nothing but distorted droplets that looked far too much like tears.
Beyond the mountains, a thin line of silver appeared on the horizon, the first hint of dawn. Another night, almost gone. Another day closer to when Taran would arrive with Emily, and Noah would either have found a way to the portals, or he would have failed his sister completely.
The heavy beams of his chamber’s ceiling creaked with the changing temperature. How many generations had they sheltered as they slept? But there’d be no sleep for him. Not tonight. Not beneath the weight of so many unkept promises.
And not with the lingering sensation of Skye’s mouth beneath his.
CHAPTER NINE
Noah blinked, his eyes gritty from lack of sleep and hours of poring over his hand-drawn map of the Citadel in the dim candlelight. Too many blank, unexplored places remained. Without Skye he’d never be allowed to wander the fortress. He had to devise a way to get past the guards and get deeper into the underbelly of the stronghold, where he suspected the portals might be.
Time was running out. His family would arrive soon—today, perhaps, or tomorrow—and he still had no concrete evidence of the portal’s location. Worse, the thought of facing Emily’s deteriorating condition without answers had his stomach churning with familiar panic.
A knock at his door made his pulse jump.Skye?The thought of seeing her sent warmth through his chest, even now, when he needed to focus on his search for a portal. He couldn’t afford further distractions, yet he found himself hoping it was her.
