She looked away, her fingers tightening on his arm. “He protects me,” she said, but the words sounded hollow, a recitation rather than a belief. He noticed her breath coming faster; small puffs forming and disappearing in rapid succession.
Noah pressed a kiss to her temple as a gust of air swirled around them. “From what? The world? Or the truth?”
Skye was silent, motionless, for a long moment as he studied her profile, sharp against the night sky, while wisps of hair, ignored this time, drifted around her face.
“There are times,” she finally whispered, her words so soft the wind almost swallowed them, “when I find things that don’t fit his explanations. Books that speak of worlds I’ve never imagined. Objects that shouldn’t exist. Questions he won’t answer.” Her breath hitched. Her shoulders rose and fell with each inhale.
She turned back to Noah, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “But he’s my father. And loyalty to family is...” She took a long breath. “Isn’t family loyalty what drives you? Isn’t that why you’re here?”
The parallel struck Noah. Was he so different? Would he not do anything, try anything, perhaps even believe anything if it meant saving Emily? The wind whipped between them, carrying away their shared breath, leaving only her question hanging in the empty space.
“It’s not the same,” he finally said, but doubt had crept into his voice, roughening its edges.
Skye’s lips curved in a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Isn’t it? You’d go to the ends of the earth for your sister. Why shouldn’t I do the same to stand by my father?”
“Because—” Noah started, then stopped, unsure how to articulate the difference he felt in his bones. His words dissolved between them as he struggled to find the right ones. “Because love shouldn’t require blind obedience. Because protecting someone doesn’t mean keeping them in the dark.”
Skye stepped away, wrapping her arms around her waist as the wind picked up, keening through the battlements with a sound like distant weeping.
“Let me take you in,” Noah stated, watching her shiver. “It’s far too cold up here.”
“Not yet.” She moved to the edge of the bartizan. “Not just yet,” she repeated.
The wind carried the flowery scent of her hair as it battered the long strands. “Then let me at least try to keep you warm.” He moved behind her and eased her against his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin as he wrapped his arms around her. “Better?”
“Mmmm,” she murmured, slowly giving up her stiff stance to relax against him. “We all have our secrets, Noah. Our own loyalties. Our own reasons,” she finally added.
“But some secrets destroy,” he whispered, close to her ear. “The cost too high.”
“And who decides what is too much?”
Noah had no answer. They stood in silence, the night air cooling the heat of their words as the stars wheeled above them.
“Can I ask you something?” Noah asked after a long silence.
He felt her nod, but she didn’t say anything.
“How well do you know Austin?” His voice sounded strange to his own ears, tight with an emotion he hadn’t expected. He’d wanted to ask ever since Keir first mentioned Austin’s name outside the library. And even more after Austin acted like there was something between him and Skye.
She twisted enough to glance up at him, surprise stamped on her face. “He visits occasionally. Brings reports, supplies.” She settled back against him. “Why?”
“The way he looks at you. He practically claimed you today. I wasn’t sure if that was just for my benefit, or if the two of you have some kind of...arrangement.”
A flush crept up her neck, visible even in the dim light. “That’s...just Austin. It means nothing. At least not to me. He thinks his charm is far more effective than it truly is. I’m not interested. Never have been, regardless of my father’s encouragement.” She shrugged, but the movement was too deliberate, too careful to be casual.
“Austin insinuated he and your father had some kind of agreement where you’re concerned.”
“I love my father. And as you well know, I feel a strong sense of loyalty to him. But despite his plans for my future, even he can’t decide who I fall in love with.”
It’s what Noah wanted to hear. What he’d hoped to hear. His level of relief surprised him. But he also realized how unfair he was to even contemplate a future with Skye. It simply wasn’t possible. The tension that had temporarily drained from his shoulders returned with a vengeance.
She turned in his arms, and her eyes held all the softness and willingness he could have hoped for. When her lips parted, he couldn’t pull his gaze away, remembering the feel of them beneath his. He was vaguely aware of the wind suddenly dying down, leaving them in a rare pocket of stillness, as if thenight itself held its breath while desire and regret, honor and dishonor, warred within him.
“We should go back,” he finally managed, though he made no move to separate. “Dawn comes early, and I suspect the morning guards will be more vigilant. And less susceptible to bribes,” he added, trying to smile to take away some of the sting visible on her face. “Your father would not approve if you were?—”
“As you wish.” A wince and flash of confusion crossed her face as she stepped back and pressed her arms to her waist.
“Skye,” Noah reached for her hand and pulled her back to him, lacing his fingers with hers as he searched for the right words to help her understand something he could hardly understand himself.
