"Anyway," I said abruptly, "I should get going."
Nathan blinked, seeming to shake himself back from wherever his thoughts had wandered. "Right. Of course."
I moved past him to my car, hyper aware of his presence at my back. "See you around,Alpha."
"Rissa—" I paused at the sound of my name and glanced over my shoulder. Nathan looked like he wanted to say more, but he just shook his head. "Have a good night."
I gave a little wave and slid into my car, not trusting myself to linger any longer. As I pulled out of the lot, I saw Nathan in my rear view, still standing by his truck, watching me go.
What the hell was that about? The way he looked at me...it was almost as if...no. I couldn't let my mind venture down that path. Nathan Gallagher was my brother's best friend, and that's all he could ever be.No matter how his presence made my heart race and my thoughts spin wildly out of control.
I cranked up the radio, determined to drown out the whispers of temptation as I drove away.
When I got home, I started dinner, needing something to occupy my hands and thoughts. The familiar, mindless routine of chopping veggies and seasoning meat helped soothe my frayed nerves. By the time Gavin walked in, still in his police chief uniform, the scent of simmering chili filled the house.
"Smells good, sis." He hung up his belt and placed his gun in the safe in the hall closet before making his way into the kitchen. "How was your first day?"
"Good. The kids are great." I hesitated, then added casually, "Nathan seemed surprised I came back to town."
Gavin frowned. "What do you mean? I told him."
I bit my lip, debating whether to bring up the awkwardness with Elle. "Is it just me, or does Elle kind of...not like me verymuch?"
Gavin's brow furrowed. "Elle? Nah, she's a sweetheart. Probably just being a moody teenager."
"If you say so." I wasn't convinced, but I let it drop. "I met Krystal and Tavi at the barbeque. I think we're going to be good friends. I like them."
"Those are good women," Gavin said with an approving nod.
I rolled my eyes. "Gavin, I'm twenty-five. Not a baby anymore, in case you hadn't noticed."
He grinned. "Hey, you'll always be my baby sister. That's the rule."
"Is that so?" I grabbed a roll from the basket and chucked it at him. He caught it easily, taking a huge bite.
"Mm-hmm. Thems the breaks, kid."
We both laughed, the tension from earlier dissipating. But as we settled in to eat, Gavin's expression turned more serious.
"Rissa...how are you doing, really? With, you know...everything."
My stomach clenched. He was talking about Faith.And Scott. The asshole whose name Gavin refused to speak these days.
I pushed my chili around with my spoon, appetite fading. "I'm...okay. You know I don't like talking about it."
"I know. I just want to make sure?—"
"I said I'm fine," I snapped, more sharply than I intended. At his wounded look, I sighed. "Sorry. I just...therapy helped. A lot. But that doesn't make it any easier to rehash."
"I get it. I do." Gavin reached over to squeeze my hand. "I'm here, though, alright? Whenever you need me. Don't forget that."
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. "I know. I love you too, big brother."
It was frustrating that after five years, the grief was still raw. My therapist said I wasn’t grieving the loss of one child, but my ability to ever have a baby. That was another subject I didn’t like talking about. When I had the miscarriage, I found out that I had a rare clotting disorder, which made it dangerous to carry a baby to term.
Gavin and I finished eating in comfortable silence, the heavy topics shelved for another day. But as I cleared the dishes, my thoughts drifted inevitably back to Nathan. The heat in his gaze. The magnetism that crackled between us.
I didn't know what to make of it. Or of him. But deep down, a traitorous part of me yearned to find out. Even though I knew I shouldn't. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't let another man wreak havoc on my life ever again.
